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Thursday, May 29, 2008

see you at the headgate

Me: [Captain America], do you know why I'm so upset about what you did to [The Hulk]?

Captain America (probably lying): Yeah.

Me: Where do we live?

Captain America: In the country.

Me: On a farm. Do you know what happens on a farm when people aren't careful?

Captain America: They get hurt.

Me: That's right. Farms have all kinds of dangerous tools around, like pitchforks and shovels, and people can get hurt or even killed. (Think about telling him about all the missing fingers and other digits/limbs I've seen that were results of farming accidents, but decide to stick within the family tree.) Did you know that Great Grandpa Baugh was run over by a tractor and almost died?

Captain America (losing focus): Wow. How old was he?

Me: It was just a couple of years ago. Anyway, farm kids don't have the luxury of doing something stupid or using a tool the wrong way and finding out it was stupid later. You have to be very careful with pitchforks. Farm kids have to use their brains all the time.

Captain America: (I reject this.)

Now, we don't live on a real, honest-to-Pete farm or anything; we don't have tractors or balers or disc harrows on the premises, but we do have dangerous things around like pitchforks and shovels, animals that will spur or kick or bite you if you treat them poorly, choking, drowning, strangulation and electrocution hazards, sharp/hot instruments that will irreversibly alter your appearance or gender, and that's just what immediately came to mind. So maybe let's not swing the pitchfork around in the hay barn (read: garage) and try to stab each other with it, mmmkay?

5 comments:

Jill said...

You are such a mean mom...come on,..let them live a little! lol I guess if you didn't stop them, they really would live...a little..

All8 said...

" You could poke an eye out!" (lol)

I know how dangerous it can be. This week a kid got impaled in his upper arm with rusted wire when we were doing fence. He wasn't paying attention, and was trying to show off for the younger kids and probably the girls too. City kid. He's okay. Nothing a tetanus shot won't cure.

Layne said...

Oh, I wish we were doing fence! I want a pasture so badly.

Quellie said...

You are such a talented writer. I love to read your blog! I always get a good laugh! How are you guys, anyways?

Claire said...

also you have children that will spur or kick or bite you if you treat them poorly. like not feeding them supper