Wednesday, August 6, 2008

why am I even amazed?

Wow. Just when you think Wal-Mart has plumbed the depths of disgusting behavior, they hit you with another jaw-dropping display of their boundless appetite for villainy.

Here's the deal: Voice Male bought gift cards for each of the wives, to show us how thankful they are for our (in most cases) uncomplaining support and willingness to sacrifice for The Good of the Group. They are Visa cards, and so can be used anywhere, but it's run through Wal-Mart. So this morning I read through the requirements to activate the card, so I could go buy myself something frilly from probably Maurice's while the boys were at swimming lessons. On the INSIDE of the card, where the purchaser will almost definitely not see it, there is this instruction:

2. You will need your Temporary MoneyCard Visa Card, YOUR RECEIPT WITH THE ACTIVATION NUMBER and your Social SecurityNumber. (Capitals all mine, baby, because you don't think they'd call attention to such a CRUCIAL detail, do you?)

Let's think about this: can anyone see the flaw in this plan? Say, if someone has received the gift card AS A GIFT, and doesn't happen to have the receipt, and doesn't know how to acquire it?

Now, thankfully, the cards were purchased by Phil and Heidi, who are extremely organized individuals, and they happened to hang onto the receipt. But there is no way to divine which activation number goes with which card, and you just have to try all the numbers, one after another until they block you out and you have to start the whole process over again. And there are, I'm sure, oodles of other people who are now SOL because they don't have the receipt for something THEY DIDN'T EVEN BUY. Wal-Mart still gets all the money that the gift-giver put on the card, they just don't have to grant the gift-receiver any goods or services in exchange for it. I tried to circumvent the system this morning and find a live person to whom I could explain the fact that I have no receipt, but they literally do not have a non-recording available on any of the numbers I could find. These coal-hearted miscreants must be stopped! Don't you see that they WANT TO DESTROY YOU? This is a freaking Sherman's March they're on, and they will not rest until they have strip-mined our entire civilization of its worth and value.

And I WANT my card activated, because I haven't boycotted them for seven years just so I can let them have free money. Here is where I would normally say a swear word questioning the circumstances and legitimacy of their birth, but this is a family-friendly blog.

Edited to add: Phil and Heidi, I am not spitting on your gift, because you guys are very thoughtful and nice, and your good reputation is not besmirched by association.


All8 said...

VoldeMart strikes again. Grrrrrrr.......... May they burn brightly. (In purgatory that is.)

I hope that you're able to find a way to use your card and not with the aforementioned black hole of shoddy goods and unethical employment practices.

Mike B said...

Too bad it wasn't an American Express gift card. I heard they have one.

Layne said...

Yeah. If only we had a time machine!

Jill said...

I was surprised at all the info we had to give them! Why did they need our SS#? I am SO not spending any of that gift card at WALMART! I am still happy to have free money though!

highdeekay said...

Yeah, the whole thing was such a mess! We seriously considered AmEx (my personal card of choice) but when we heard that the Bejing Olympics was only accepting Visa, well, that pretty much sealed the fate on the AmEx card. Sorry 'bout that Mike.

Sorry for all the problems, but at least your husband didn't throw yours away... (mine didn't either, that would be someone else).

Layne said...

What? Who did that? And why? Did Morgan Freeman tell them to?

Anonymous said...

Walmart is a wonderful place to shop. I love the handycapped man in the entrance that always lets me know that I'm welcome there. Also, I like credit cards. They're free money...I think...