Thursday, January 15, 2009

animated cereal shills are the worst

You know what always burned me up about Fruity Pebbles? That Fred was so stingy with them. They're a crappy cereal, and he's so territorial about them that he won't even share them with Barney, who is supposedly his best friend? That is not right. I don't remember if they had such a codependent relationship on the cartoon--was that an invention of Post? If so, that's a shameful way to behave for a company whose Post Toasties were associated with Andy Griffith, who is revered to the point of sainthood in my family. And who made Fred the Pebbles Mayor anyway? Look, Barney doesn't ask for much. Can you not throw him a sop once in a while?

Speaking of the Flintstones, there's an episode of Red Dwarf my husband loves in which Lister is talking about how beautiful Wilma is. I was going to try to remember it, but thankfully the internet weirdos will let my fingers do the walking.

Lister: D'ya think Wilma's sexy?
Cat: Wilma Flintstone?
Lister: Maybe we've been alone in deep space too long, but every time I see that body, it drives me crazy. Is it me?
Cat: Well, I think in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most desirable woman that ever lived.
Lister: That's good. I thought I was going strange.
Cat: She's incredible!
Lister: What d'ya think of Betty?
Cat: Betty Rubble? Well, I would go with Betty... but I'd be thinking of Wilma.
Lister: This is crazy. Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma Flintstone?
Cat: You're right. We're nuts. This is an insane conversation.
Lister: She'll never leave Fred, and we know it.

Ha! That's funny stuff. So, long story short: Fruity Pebbles are crappy (despite what my college roommate Jessica would say), Cocoa Pebbles are yummy, Fred needs to chillax, Barney is a doormat, Andy Griffith is the boss of me, and Betty is the ugly friend. And don't get me started on those rotten kids who won't share with the rabbit.


Jill said...

Uh, Layne,... how could you not mention the NUMEROUS child labor laws that the Rubbles viotated with their dear little Bam-Bam! I mean seriously, who makes their toddler lift up the couch so their Mammoth can vacuum under it? I totally would have called The Department of Cave Baby Protective Services (DCBPS) on them!

All8 said...

Um, I don't know what to say to that. I can't imagine being in a place where you'd be thinking about it, which I guess is good news, cuz that means that I'm not completely crazy, yet. ;)

All8 said...

Oh, yeah, we don't buy cereal either. Well, I guess I should say, I don't buy cereal, but Ambrose does. He thinks that it's more convenient for Sunday mornings, or something like that. Men. (lol)