Tuesday, February 3, 2009

scenes from the life of the artist's hair

You should see my hair. Something happened to it today, and it is a glorious bouffant the likes of which have not been seen since my mother was in high school. Which would be awesome if I wanted to be wearing a bouffant.

When I was a senior in high school I was one of the doo-wops in "Little Shop of Horrors." I took immense satisfaction and pride in ratting my hair ever higher, spraying and pinning and winding it around until I had a tremendous beehive. If I'd had any sense I would have wound it around a chunk of florist's foam or something, to achieve even greater heights.

I remember when I was in grade school and my mom was in the hospital giving birth to one of my sisters, my dad had to do my hair. He is a man who could work circles around most people I know, and yet hair eluded him. He attempted a ponytail (a rookie mistake), and it was a wretched failure. The ponytail is deceptively difficult. You have to be careful to smooth it the right way. I know of what I speak, as my first attempts at ponytails were similarly monstrous. My mom was my teacher in sixth grade, and eventually she realized that I was the only girl in the class whose mother was still doing her hair. Hey, I was her first. She was still learning. She put the kibosh on the hairdoing with a quickness, and insisted that I learn how to do it myself. It was an ongoing battle for months, always simmering, with occasional tearful flareups. It is a ponytail that comes most readily to my mind when I remember those miserable months of apprenticeship. A particularly ill-considered side ponytail, with bumps and divots all over my head because I couldn't get it smooth. This is also the time when I cut my own bangs, because I guess I was still three or something. I also used Nair on my eyebrows, and you know how you keep slicing just a little more off the pie, to make the edges straight? Well, that's kind of like how I ended up with no eyebrows. Not a shining moment in my grooming.

So, I may have a bouffant today, but the fact that I also have eyebrows has got to be a tick in the assets column.


highdeekay said...


Jenny said...

My mom says that life without hair has been saves so much time. However, she has really missed the eyebrows and eyelashes- they really do help keep out dust and stuff. I'm glad yours are still in tact! I would love to see pictures also!

Sarah said...

I, too, had some tragic moments in the eyebrow world - think razor. Eek. I keep thinking that I need to teach Daniel the art of doing hair, just incase I'm ever "out of the office" or something. But seriously, it's a tough art that takes so many years of trial and error. C'mon though, he's a surgeon...he can figure it out...right? maybe?

All8 said...

Jealous. Wish that I could do a bouffant.

Pics definitely in order.