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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

scenes from the life of the artist's hair

You should see my hair. Something happened to it today, and it is a glorious bouffant the likes of which have not been seen since my mother was in high school. Which would be awesome if I wanted to be wearing a bouffant.

When I was a senior in high school I was one of the doo-wops in "Little Shop of Horrors." I took immense satisfaction and pride in ratting my hair ever higher, spraying and pinning and winding it around until I had a tremendous beehive. If I'd had any sense I would have wound it around a chunk of florist's foam or something, to achieve even greater heights.

I remember when I was in grade school and my mom was in the hospital giving birth to one of my sisters, my dad had to do my hair. He is a man who could work circles around most people I know, and yet hair eluded him. He attempted a ponytail (a rookie mistake), and it was a wretched failure. The ponytail is deceptively difficult. You have to be careful to smooth it the right way. I know of what I speak, as my first attempts at ponytails were similarly monstrous. My mom was my teacher in sixth grade, and eventually she realized that I was the only girl in the class whose mother was still doing her hair. Hey, I was her first. She was still learning. She put the kibosh on the hairdoing with a quickness, and insisted that I learn how to do it myself. It was an ongoing battle for months, always simmering, with occasional tearful flareups. It is a ponytail that comes most readily to my mind when I remember those miserable months of apprenticeship. A particularly ill-considered side ponytail, with bumps and divots all over my head because I couldn't get it smooth. This is also the time when I cut my own bangs, because I guess I was still three or something. I also used Nair on my eyebrows, and you know how you keep slicing just a little more off the pie, to make the edges straight? Well, that's kind of like how I ended up with no eyebrows. Not a shining moment in my grooming.

So, I may have a bouffant today, but the fact that I also have eyebrows has got to be a tick in the assets column.

4 comments:

Bamamoma said...

Pictures???

Jenny said...

My mom says that life without hair has been great....it saves so much time. However, she has really missed the eyebrows and eyelashes- they really do help keep out dust and stuff. I'm glad yours are still in tact! I would love to see pictures also!

Sarah said...

I, too, had some tragic moments in the eyebrow world - think razor. Eek. I keep thinking that I need to teach Daniel the art of doing hair, just incase I'm ever "out of the office" or something. But seriously, it's a tough art that takes so many years of trial and error. C'mon though, he's a surgeon...he can figure it out...right? maybe?

All8 said...

Jealous. Wish that I could do a bouffant.

Pics definitely in order.