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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

transference of internal struggle to inanimate plastic

For Christmas Pinga got a couple of ponies from one of her grandmas (thanks, Margie!), which excited her almost as much as it did me. Not as much as the shopping cart, though, which has melded to her hands from overuse.

I was playing with the ponies (shut up--you're not better than me), and I know they're just different color formulas poured in the same mold, but I came to the decision that the pink one is sort of slutty. Which is weird--the purple one has sparkly hair, which is normally squarely in the territory of exotic dancers, but she has a wholesome vibe that the pink one lacks. Maybe it's the wings? And the pink one has a grass-and-flower motif that you would think would make her seem less naughty, but it doesn't. Upon closer inspection, I think the big tip-off that Pink is ready to party is the super curly hair with the white-pink streak in it. Purple's hair is a little more relaxed, like she just dried it with a round brush and got on with her day, while Pink was still ratting and teasing and spraying and forming perfect little ringlets. You be the judge--should I be concerned about what Pink is doing at night?

See, Purple has a star with music notes, and sparkly hair. Two strikes against her, but she makes it work.

Then there's Pink, with her earth-mother flowers and grass, but that hair! It's so curly and somehow more bleached and fake-looking.

See what I mean? Am I right or what?

I wanted them to look their best, so Sunday night I got a glass of water and a comb and got all their tangles out. I'm not proud of what I've become.

So, with this kind of anthropomorphism, you can understand why those abominable Bratz dolls will never. ever. be allowed in our house.

Edited to add: You guys know that I still love both ponies and am glad we have them, right? I just hope Purple doesn't get all upset when Pink comes back after having wasted her substance with riotous living and would fain have filled her belly with the husks that the swine did eat and be like, "But I've been the good pony!"

6 comments:

Jenny said...

I just have to laugh about My Little Ponies. First of all, that you are so passionate about them makes me laugh. Who woulda guessed? My brother, Jake, always loved My Little Ponies when he was a little boy. We always tease him about it and every year he always gets a pony or two for Christmas or his birthday!

Jill said...

I have to admit that on reviewing the photo's, that Pink has very nice hind quarters. I don't think you should judge her for flaunting what the good Mold gave her. She is probably a single mother trying to support her young fouls. If this means she needs to entertain the occational Stud, then so be it....Also, I think Purple WANTS you to THINK she's innocent, but I have it on good authority from Strawberry Shortcake that she's turning tricks.

THIS POST WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!

hi, it's me! melissa c said...

I love your style! You should write a book!

In my opinion, pink must be a cheerleader. She has it written all over her girly, little behind.

Purple is probably a student body officer. Smart but still cute.

Sarah said...

My favorite part about all of this pony analysis, is that Olivia also has two ponies; a hot pink/orangy one, and a mint green/light pink one. And I, too, have thought similarly of OUR hot pink one. She has extra bouncy hair, and seems to fall over one eye just so...AND? They aren't even the same mold! Scootaloo (hot pinky) has WAY bigger eyes, and a more flashy pose, whereas Minty looks very similar to your purple, only without the sparkly hair. The thing that has changed my feelings toward Scootaloo, however, is that she got barfed on by the baby and so had to go though an impressive washing, and now lives a sad life of dull, limp, straggly hair.

mmm.chocolate said...

Thank you for that in-depth, thoughtful discussion on ponies. I'll never look at my daughter's collection the same. You definitely chose right, speaking of Tona's over Shin Sei. And, next time you are in town, try Bombay Grill, 3035 Washington Blvd., for some outstanding Indian food. I have like 20 comments to your recent posts that I've never posted, so, I'm hoping you don't mind going back a bit when I finally get around to doing that.

richvm said...

Um...John it might be good to spend a little more time at home.