tacky puns: adventures in english III

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who say, "It's Wednesday, all day, even if it rains!"
And those who don't.
Those who get a haircut and say, "Nope, I got ALL of 'em cut!"
And those who don't.
Those who call Las Vegas "Lost Wages."
And those who don't.

I was talking to a woman the other day who forgot a detail of what she was telling me, and said, "Sorry, I've got Alz--sorry, Old-Timer's." Let me be clear: she started referring to the disease by its real name, then corrected herself to call it by its stupid, tired, played joke name.

FAIL.