the walking wounded

The sunflower seed-sized chunk of skin I sliced off.

Maybe you think that you can shove the stuck zucchini slice off your mandoline blade without the guard or a protective tool like a chopstick, but that's probably because you're an idiot like me. Because those Zyliss people are not screwing around.

The thumb whence it came.

I don't know what the good is of having an opposable thumb you can't use. By David Sedaris's standards I am now a one-thumber.