Friday, September 11, 2009

"drive my car" is not a vital component of the beatles catalog

Today my family has put me in a state of heightened aggro. I try to chuck the parts of of modern life that I find ridiculous and unnecessary, but it requires constant vigilance, and sometimes things creep in that oughtn't. In case you were wondering how the Chucking It is going.

We're celebrating Superman's birthday today, and I'm going to do Bittman's Golden Layer Cake--it makes three layers!--with the Marshmallow Frosting from Smitten Kitchen. Superman was sort of underwhelmed by the idea until I bought a plastic figurine of R2-D2 to plop on top of it, and now he's being a team player. He knows plastic makes it possible.

Pinga is in her room napping, by which I mean she is removing her clothing and pounding on the walls. I hope she will use her time to test-drive the potty chair I put in there. I figured, if she's going to be peeing on the floor, eventually she may hit the toilet, and then I can give her some candy and start associating proper placement of waste matter with tasty rewards. Also I can start cultivating a food neurosis of needing treats for performance, so it's a twofer!

In preparing the cake pans I was able, through careful placement of the pan and tracing it just so, to get three liners cut from one sheet of parchment paper. It was pretty amazing. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I compare it to Salk's discovery of the polio vaccine.

At Sumida's this morning there was this crotchety older woman who shoved her way to the front of the line with her purchases, and started complaining that there weren't any pears. Numerous people told her of places that carry them, and I mentioned that the Barkers down the road had Bartlett pears (which looked beautiful, by the way, like their stuff always does). And she launches into this lecture about how she heard the Barkers had peaches, but they were charging FOURTEEN DOLLARS A HALF BUSHEL if you can imagine, "just to shirt people." I know, how dare they try to make a living as farmers, growing food for us and selling it for a tiny smidgen of profit? It's not like they provide actual value to our society. Who do they think they are, professional basketball players?

She kept saying it over and over, "just to shirt people," "they're just shirting people," "they just want to shirt people." What the crap? First of all, I have it on good authority that peaches are going for sixteen a half in Logan, and much more than that in Salt Lake, and it's not at all unusual to see twenty a half. And has she ever picked peaches? Because it sucks, and takes a good spell of time. Furthermore, perhaps the Barkers have slightly higher prices, but their peaches are enormous and lovely and succulent, and though I don't know them, if they only charged me five dollars for a gigantic flat of cherries, they don't cheat people. Also, mean old lady? SHUT UP.


tipsybaker said...

I don't know how much is in a bushel because I live in California and peaches are so expensive you buy them by the one. Or at least I assume they are more expensive. They are $3.50 a pound at the farmers' market right now. I find that expensive.I still buy them, but never without a twinge.
I can't believe now I have to get going on Twitter to keep up with you. I feel old and incompetent. I will soon be ranting at the fruit stand, too.