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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

product may stay: hoover flair vacuum

In The Devil's Storybook by Natalie Babbitt there is a story about a man whose cremated ashes get mixed up with the ashes of a pork bone, and he has to spend years in Hell separating his ashes from those of the pig, because the pig is down in Hell with him and won't leave him alone. When the maid who accidentally mixed the ashes by knocking over the urn dies and is herself sent to Hell, she sees the piles of ash and--being a cleaner--of course sweeps them together and disposes of them in an out-of-the-way corner somewhere, unwittingly undoing all of the man's hard work. He eventually learns to get along with the pig, but that's neither here nor there.

I imagine that Hell is composed mainly of hard surfaces, because you don't want people to loll around on the carpet in front of the hellfire and brimstone--next you know, they'll be roasting marshmallows! As hellish as a loud Victorian floral carpet might be, I think that Hell's denizens would still be grateful for the comfort, and then it would cease to be Hell, and then the universe would tear, and what a mess that would be.

I'm coming to my point, I promise. I too have a lot of hard surfaces--wood from stem to stern upstairs, except for the bathroom and my bedroom (until January, mwah ha ha hah). And I have had the devil's own time keeping it clean. Our vacuums, even though they have a "hard floor" setting, have always done a pitty job of sucking up the filth, and sweeping takes forever, especially when the cat keeps pouncing on the broom, which for some reason he does. But then recently we got the "Hoover Flair Bagless with Power Nozzle," and this, THIS is the one. I've been waiting . . . for a vacuum like this . . . to come into my life . . .

It is light, extremely maneuverable, and gets everything off the floor. I love this vacuum. I love it forever. I want it buried along with me in my pine box (you know the one the leg lamp comes in? like that) so I can vacuum with it in the afterlife. I would have those human and pig ashes mixed together so fast, along with any other ashes that were lying around. Except I bet if I were to be so unlucky as to end up in Hell, I wouldn't get to bring the vacuum! And I bet Heaven is way clean, so I wouldn't need the vacuum! Oh, snap! The universe is tearing again!

To sum up: if you have wood floors you need this vacuum. Buy it. Product may stay.

1 comments:

All8 said...

Thankfully(?) we only have one hard wood floor. I like my Dyson though and it seems to get it all, that is when it's used....

Glad you found a keeper.