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Thursday, January 21, 2010

blue steel? ferrari? le tigre? they're the same face!

My fellow mothers out there know that it's hard to get your makeup on in the morning, and somehow with the many stops and starts and interruptions I've made myself look like Jocelyn Wildenstein today. On the plus side, my face goes awesome with my Russian spy coat. I look like one of those scary ladies who yells at the help.

Can we talk about something for a minute? I'm trying to be nicer these days, I really am (even though I screened a call yesterday from someone I really didn't want to talk to because every time she calls she wants something). But I have a real problem with Giada De Laurentiis, and yesterday there was an ad in my BH&G pimping her new line at Target, so now I have to say something because they brought the fight to me. I'm not saying I'll never buy any of her stuff; as with Rachael Ray, if it's good I'm willing to give it a shot. But I'll have a moral quandary about contributing to her utterly confounding and perplexing celebrity. I do not support her as A Thing, because:
1. she refuses to shut up about her famous dead grandfather
2. she won't stop smiling like a fourteen-year-old with Vaseline on her teeth
3. she is so weird when she's cooking, like she's afraid of mussing her makeup and not looking pretty, which she needs to get over, because . . .
4. she looks like a bobblehead of a mantis

Remember when Calista Flockhart was famous and in all of her pictures she was doing that weird thing with her lips that made her look like a chimp? I think what happened to both Giada and Calista was that they made that stupid look for some picture, and decided that it made them look Exotic and Alluring, so they've Blue Steeled their way through every picture since.

Sorry for the pettiness, but I'm a petty person.

3 comments:

hi, it's me! melissa c said...

What does it say about me to admit that I don't even know who this Giada woman is? Maybe it's because I just don't cook. Wait, not true. I do cook, I'm just not in to cooking. There is a big difference!

Jill said...

I don't know who she is either, but you can believe I am gonna Google her right this very minute. How can I not after such a description? lol

All8 said...

I have no idea who this woman (I assume) is either.

Sometimes I wonder if I keep using the same makeup because it looked good once upon a time and I really haven't looked at myself since. I'm going to go kohl myself up and pout big, now where's that camera crew??? (..giggle..)