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Monday, January 11, 2010

this grips me more than would a muddy old river or reclining buddha

Tonight we were shopping at Costco and I found a pair of leggings to wear to bed. I've always eschewed nightgowns, because I have no need to be strangled in the night and left with cold bare legs, and lately I can't even deal with normal pajama pants. They creep up! And then I have to try to work them back down to my ankles using my toes, which just makes the other leg creep up, and before long I'm too angry to fall asleep. But leggings, now . . . they stay put. Even if I do look ridiculous. So I found these Costco leggings, and they're meant to be used as activewear or something. They're "performance base layer" leggings, as though I'm going to be using them for a purpose other than defragging my mental hard drive.

The only problem is they're sort of fleecy, which will cause them to not slip into the bed as smoothly as I would like. The MEN'S leggings were nice and slippery, and they had a helpful man-woman size conversion chart (a large woman is a medium man, for those who are playing at home), but there was a weird insert in the crotch that would for sure give me polterwang, so I didn't buy. But thank goodness for the insert! We wouldn't want the performance base men to have decreased motility! That reminds me--John's insurance company does not cover birth control, but it does cover Viagra, which . . . you have to get up pretty early in the morning to get more wrongheaded than that.

But the leggings--I'm excited to use them. I have another pair from Old Navy, and I tried to buy some more, but you know how Old Navy always stops selling the things you like, so I was stuck with the fleecy Costco ones. I'll be warm and they'll stay put, so that's good enough.

5 comments:

richvm said...

The message from John's employer is to have larger families. Early to bed, Early to rise, makes a man healthy, un-wealthy and a family of size!

Amy said...

A polterwang! Where on earth do you come up with words like this? I am laughing my performance base layer off right now.

All8 said...

Warm and fleecy. Sounds like an excellent combo for you. Removing all of that brocade wallpaper probably made it at least 5 degrees colder in your bedroom.

Insurance (obviously) isn't run with common sense.

Layne said...

Richard--this policy is not about having large families, or they'd cover treatment for infertility. I suspect it has more to do with the overlapping demographics of the typical user of Viagra and the typical decision maker at the insurance company.

Claire said...

Who used to rave about how much they hated twitter? It was you. And I just noticed you have a little twitter sidebar. hmmmm...