Sunday, February 14, 2010

in which John is rad on a stupid holiday

I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. Neither is John, so it works out. We're equally yoked that way. But he does tend to do sniper presents on the occasions when we've agreed to no gift-giving. For example, when we got home from church today he shut me out of the bedroom BEFORE I EVEN GOT TO CHANGE OUT OF MY DRESS, and when he let me in he had a contraband gift bag and pink and red lights wound around the bed. Sneak. And here's where it gets awesome:

The card was in Spanish. He bought it that way on purpose. And inside he had written:

Esto es solo para decir te quiero.
(He put it into Google translator; it's meant to say "This is just to say that I love you.")
This is just to say that I bought you this sappy, Spanish Valentine's card
and which you were probably hoping
would be funny and in English.
Forgive me. The idea of giving you this card was
too delicious, and the message too deep.

Now, other English nerds may recognize here a spoof of the famous William Carlos Williams poem "This is Just to Say," which is hilarious. A while ago there was a piece on NPR about non-apologies, (e.g. "Mistakes were made.") and they talked about this poem specifically, and had recorded a number of spoofs, including this gem:

This is Just to Say
I used your dog as an excuse to pick up girls at the dog park
which is especially tacky
since I'm your boyfriend.

Please forgive me.
I'm really bad at being in a relationship

and I'm pretty sure I told you that when we first got together.

It was nice to have a good laugh and reminisce on this Valentine's Day, which was not great for reasons unrelated to the day itself.

On a related Valentiney note, I hope my friend will not mind if I share this delightful story:
One day in Relief Society (a meeting women go to in our church) one of the ladies was sharing with the class how wonderful her husband is, and started listing off all the things he had bought her for a recent holiday. On the other side of the room, where my friend was sitting, one of the sisters queried sotto voce, "I wonder how much she had to put out for that . . . probably not worth it."

That's terrific! I laughed so hard.


Melissa Cunningham said...

That last thing there is funny! I love it when people are real.

I am one of those who does love Valentine's day but only because I finally have a valentine. I waited for a long time for one to stick around. LOL I'm going to enjoy every moment of it. I don't get presents often enough as it is!

All8 said...

Jon is Rad. Aren't you glad he fought the inner crank and wooed you with a bit of contraband?!

And seriously, who (in their right mind) lists presents during a religious meeting? I'm sure she's a sweet spirit, bless her heart.

the dad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the dad said...

In my defense, there was only ONE thing in the "Contraband" gift bag and it wasn't very big, that's for sure! Layne probably wouldn't want me to share with you what was in the gift bag because it was something just for us, as a couple. But, to make sure eveyone knows I'm not a sneak, all I got her was a single-serving bag of Reese's Pieces. Hardly a "sniper" gift and barely worth a mention, but... she's just that worth it.