Wednesday, February 17, 2010

in which we talk about barfpooping

The next time your stomach is feeling queasy as a result of the stomach flu, or perhaps a bad case of food poisoning from eating spoiled scallops, get a glass of apple juice mixed with Sprite or club soda or something fizzy, and grate some fresh ginger into it. You're welcome.

Last week just as my Wednesday piano student was arriving I heard the cat making bizarre noises in the dining room, came out to see what was going on, and he had blown the entire contents of his stomach simultaneously out both ends onto our ottoman and the dining room and kitchen floor. So I spent Adam's lesson mopping the floor and having his mom write down his songs for the next week. Also I threw the ottoman away because it can't be part of our furniture anymore. The dump rats can have it and raise generations of their pathogenic offspring in it.

On Monday we had a shopping trip during which we ate out TWO times. Red-letter day for the kids. I made them go to Roosters for lunch, because the last experience I had there was so sublime. But I should have known better than to eat the scallops whose fetid reek reached the table long before they did. I figured I was just being oversensitive, and ate them anyway. I should have listened to Michael Pollan and known that the human sense of disgust is what has kept us alive.

I don't know, maybe it was the stomach flu. It doesn't matter; either way you end up with surprising pieces of dirty laundry.


All8 said...

Hope ya'll get to feeling better soon. Poor you and your mop bucket. {{{shudder}}}