Wednesday, May 26, 2010

wonderful day makes me feel so happy that my face is numb

John hates Carly Simon. Whenever he hears her he starts ranting about how talentless she is, and I guess she's not the best thing that ever happened, but I think his vitriol is a little extreme. I dig "The Spy Who Loved Me." It's because I also dig Roger Moore. I told you already. I know, it's gross. He's the proto-Brosnan Bond, and the Brosnan Bond was probably the worst of them all. John and I are still mad about the low-hanging fruit of The World is Not Enough. I mean it says right in the title and theme song about how the world is not enough, but all the crazy Stockholm Syndrome lady was doing was bombing oil pipelines so people would be forced to buy oil from her. I mean, what? Where is the plot to wipe out all humanity and start a race of Jawses? So basically, the world was plenty? A little too much, in fact? Pfft.

Today I mowed a lot of the lawn so John wouldn't have as much to do. We have almost an acre of grass, you guys, and maybe that doesn't sound like a lot to those of you with your own fiefdoms, but it is a lot to me. Especially when the grass is knee-high (I am not exaggerating for artistic effect). It took me probably three hours to get about two-thirds done. We are embarrassing people. My poor dad.

I bought a plum tree, an Elephant Heart to be precise. I just didn't want to be on my deathbed and feel like I should have spent more time at the office eating Elephant Heart plums. It said on the tag that it's self-pollinating, but I'm pretty sure that's a lie. I will forgive the nursery for the lie, because while I was there I saw a purple columnar European Beech (Fagus sylvatica, hee) that was positively breathtaking.

If you want to sit on the couch and eat ice cream from the container, a helpful hint is to wear an oven mitt on the hand you're using to hold the ice cream. That way your hand won't get cold and serve as an indicator that you've been holding and eating the ice cream for a long time.


All8 said...

I'll have to remember your handy little tip, summer is here after all.

tipsybaker said...

We have an elephant heart, but it has yet to pony up a single plum.
I can't turn off "You're So Vain" when I hear it on the radio. I don't know if she's talented or not, but I always enjoy the meanness in that song.

Layne said...

That's why I love "Positively 4th Street" so much.