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Monday, September 20, 2010

if he eats any more heartily he will turn into a pie shop

I have decided not to teach piano lessons anymore. I do not feel conflicted. I will miss the money, but since it was only twenty-eight dollars a week I think I'll be able to get past it.

Sometimes I think that flossing only makes it easier for stuff to get caught in my teeth. I wish the ADA would address this important topic. My dentist told me to lay off the Oral-B Sonic Complete toothbrush for a while because I'm brushing away my gums again. He gave me another one of those soft toothbrushes, and I hate it! I hate furry teeth so much. Somebody should invent scrubby gum and it would solve all my problems.

While I was losing weight (Weight Watchers worked for me, modified somewhat to exclude the non-foods they endorse) I learned that I eat until the point of physical pain. That's what full is to me: when I cannot fit any more food into my stomach without causing organ damage. Maybe it has something to do with my having been abandoned as an infant and raised by a friendly grizzly bear. I must have acquired similar binge-eating habits. That would also explain my fondness for sleep. It's all starting to make sense now!

Pretty much our family is on the brink of financial ruin right now, because we (John) still haven't done our taxes, but we knew we were getting a whopping return (we use the government for a savings plan, because they are wiser and more careful stewards of our money than we are; yes, this is embarrassing) and we went ahead and did all the projects we were planning on anyway. Trees, driveway, my trip to NY, family vacation to Florida (still to come), etc., and now there's a teensy problem called "we are out of money until Thursday." I would nag John more, but I figure if we've made it this far without using the tax return, and we're still technically financially solvent as long as I don't spend over one hundred dollars before Thursday, then maybe we can just use the time he would spend doing taxes watching TV and eating popcorn instead. Also nagging doesn't work on John. It's like water off a duck's back, only the water, as it drips off the duck, turns into acid and burns stuff. Who needs that?

4 comments:

All8 said...

I'm a grazer. It drives Ambrose crazy because he likes big meals, and I'm just not that hungry (any more).

Claire said...

Sorry you had to stop using your sonic toothbrush. I love mine. You should post some pictures of your salsa, and then send some to me.

richvm said...

You might want to try this product. I got a package at a trade show. I already enjoy eating small pieces of plastic so this was a natural.

http://www.moderngent.com/rolly/chewable_toothbrushes.php

Layne said...

Richard--can I try one?