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Sunday, September 26, 2010

keep all your money in a big brown bag

Tomorrow morning Rex and Groceries are going to the vet to, as John put it, get the junk out of their trunks. That means get their testicles (pronounced tes'-tih-clay) cut off so they won't make babies, of course you understand. They can't have breakfast--DANGER!--and I think this will happen: they will claw their way through the screen in the boys' room and eat their faces. They are feral cats, after all. I heard recently that of all domesticated animals, cats are the ones that most readily return to their wild state. I'm going to say sure, makes sense to me.

I got bangs. I'm still on the fence about it.

I've been trying to feed Traci some kelp to help with her goiter, but no luck so far. We may have to use conventional medicine. Translation: Captain America and I will go out there with his Old Timer pocket knife, which looks like this: Then I will tell him about how the goiter needs to go, and he will earn his Veterinary Surgery merit badge. It's going to be great.

5 comments:

richvm said...

(sung to the tune of Clementine)
Got a goiter, got a goiter, got a goiter on my goat. Goin to gut that little goiter little goiter on my goat.
guttin a goiter, guttin a goiter, guttin a goiter on the goat gonna use my new old timer in guttin a goiter on my goat.
G****s the gutter on the goiter gettin gutted on the goat, first he grabbed her by the goiter, slip old timer now shes dead.

We're having chevon tonight, boys.

tipsybaker said...

You know, I never heard "junk in your trunk" before yesterday when I was watching Say Yes to the Dress.
But there it was used by an evil mother referring to her bride daughter's fat bottom.

All8 said...

Uther goes for the Chop-Chop on Wednesday. I haven't told him yet. Shhh....

Layne said...

All8, I think that's best, because the Pendragon family line is crazy! Very stray-catlike, actually.

Sarah said...

Good luck with the goiter and the face-eating cats. At least you have cute bangs to smile about when all else is brokus.