Thursday, January 13, 2011

back to the lab again

Whew. I've been so busy, probably busier than anyone else ever, is why it took me so long to get back here to my memo from last night. And even if I were less busy than someone else, my stuff was more important, I bet. Mapping genomes, I was.

Real quick-like, here's where the bathroom is:
*toilet in my bedroom
*tub in the dining room
*vinyl and subfloor gone
*nails pulled (most) or pounded back in (a few recalcitrant ones)
*wallpaper gone
*paint scraped off ceiling
*what my plumber calls masonite paneling painted green
*tile samples ordered
*neighbor who wants to sneak in and put in large ceramic tile during our absence threatened with extreme bodily harm--I'm serious, Cameron

But back to the reminder list from yesterday.

Item the first: I went to the Honey Jar to get another bucket of honey, and Peggy said that the price had gone up because they had to go so far to find it this year. Her cousin's bees died, and another of their suppliers only had 18 of her 100 hives survive because of insecticide drift from neighboring farms. So awesome. I can understand the farmer's plight. Bugs are crappy and they eat your crops, and your yield plummets and you go broke and your family starves. I get it. And as my dad so heatedly points out every time I try to broach with him the subject of sustainable farming without complete dependence on hybrids and chemicals, we are feeding the world with hybrids and chemicals. But the voice inside my head that likes to mind other people's business wonders why are we feeding the world? And is it really food we're giving them? Why aren't we teaching them how to farm their own crops--crops that would do well in their area--rather than flooding them with GM corn and Ring Dings? And how is any of it going to get turned into food of any kind when all the pollinators are dead? And while I'm at it, why are we building monstrous houses on all the arable land when existing houses are languishing empty everywhere?

Item the second:
We taught our Beehives how to make a real chocolate cake last night (Amy's Perfect Chocolate Cake, coincidentally--Amy being the same girl at whose house we ate stir-fry last week). We way overfilled the pans and they erupted like four little volcanoes all over the floor of the oven, so we poured some batter out of each of them and microwaved it and ate it with spoons while the cakes finished cooking with big divots in the center, hate, and then we put the oven on self-clean and there was so much batter that it CAUGHT FIRE and FLAMES WERE LICKING THE GLASS FROM INSIDE THE OVEN and the church kitchen FILLED WITH SMOKE and we all smelled like jerky and John said, "Well, that's why they say not to cook in the church kitchens," and I said, "Well, they need to stop building kitchens in the churches, then," and it was a TOTAL, IRRETRIEVABLE DISASTER. Except the cakes tasted great, and the frosting did too. But still. Not a high point in my cooking career.

Item the third:
I do not support viewing of Beavis and Butthead, obviously, because what kind of an example would I be for my children if I did? Answer: probably about like I am right now. But I fell among evil companions who were always offering me sucker bets and it is what it is. And I will tell you that the episode where Beavis and Butthead try to grow beards and then cut their hair and glue it all over their faces makes me laugh so very, very hard. Just the memory of Beavis with bald patches of skin showing where Butthead totally mowed his hair is enough to make me giggle right now.

I'm sorry about Item the first. I'm sorry that I get like this. But I can't exorcise it, and it just pops out every once in a while. I think I have something like a second uterus inside me, but for anger instead of eggs. And it just keeps making little anger sacs, and I have to use them somewhere, don't I?


tipsybaker said...

It's okay to be angry when you're right.

Are you doing all this remodeling yourself?

Tori said...

I got so excited when I saw the Beavis and Butthead beard episode on the memo yesterday, but I withheld my excitement just in case you were going to talk about how stupid and degenerate it was.