Sunday, January 30, 2011

I promise tonight not to do you no harm

You know how in movies the hero is always getting the crap kicked out of him, and he just carries on trying to foil the villain's sinister plot? He's all bloody and waking up from being beaten senseless and left for dead, but he sort of shakes it off and jumps from a bridge onto a departing garbage scow? Well, brothers and sisters, I can tell you with certainty that that little scenario is a load of horse poop. Here's how I know:

I spent Thursday in an assortment of supine positions, due to having what my brother-in-law phone-diagnosed as Influenza A, but what I think was probably actually Kuru. In the middle of the night I got up to go take some ibuprofen, and maybe go to the bathroom--I didn't want to overschedule myself. I laboriously made my way to the kitchen and took the pills, but was feeling so woozy that I decided walking down the stairs to use the bathroom was a little ambitious. I started back to bed and grabbed the door frame leading from the kitchen to the dining room and held onto it for a minute, just to get my bearings. Then I woke up and John was kneeling over me, asking if I was dead. So I have a brother-in-law phone-diagnosed mild concussion due to the loss of consciousness, giant SMACK of head on hardwood, and a sizable bump to go along with it and new in-skull tenants Spinal Tap, who are always rehearsing. And you guys, it has laid me out. I hope I didn't give myself MS. And that's how I know that in real life, Jason Bourne and James Bond and all the rest of them would maybe do okay the first day after their pounding, would maybe be able to go to IKEA and buy some picture frames and a shelf for the bathroom, but the day after that they would be in serious pain and would be unable to foil anyone's sinister plot. They'd be lucky to read a train schedule.

I used to look askance at the the Pioneer Woman's website when she'd make excuses for using shortcut ingredients by saying her grocery store didn't carry the fancy stuff. But then I went to Morgan and saw what she was talking about. I feel bad for assuming that everyone has access to oxtail.

John and the boys went ice fishing yesterday, and they caught some fish. We ate them today, except Emmett, because he hates everything.
Look at all the butter in the bottom of that pan and just try to tell me that fish wouldn't taste good.


All8 said...

If you're posting, does that mean you're feeling a little better? Here's to hope that it goes away quickly.

The fish look delish! Nice and lovely with lots of butter.

Jenny said...

So sorry for your sicky yuckiness! Cool story though! I hope you are feeling better!

Sarah said...

So sorry you're all broken. Thanks for your thoughts on the beaten heroes. It always makes me feel like a sissy pants when I can't even change a diaper after having my finger smashed in the door, let alone foiling any sinister plans. Glad to know that the movies are maybe exaggerating a bit.

Amy said...

Ouch! Hope you are feeling better now.

Jill said...

Seriously??? That is horrible...and a good story.:-) I hope you are feeling better. I think Mike is staying at your house tonight. Did John tell you that? I will make sure he looks at your pupils to make sure they aren't different sizes.