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Monday, February 14, 2011

I'll give you a four-leaf clover, take all the worry out of your mind

I have been thinking lately about exercise. I really, really hate it. I like running outside, as long as nobody's dog chases me, but this treadmill bullcrap is for the birds. And I sort of feel like it's weird and indulgent, in a way, because we have spent hundreds of years figuring out how to make machines do our work so we can sit more, so we're all getting fat, and now we have to find time in our schedules to go lift heavy things and climb fake stairs and run and get nowhere. And I have so much hanging over my head, what with the animals and house and garden and children that I could quite literally work from sunup to sundown every day and still not get everything done I should. What a drag! So I have decided that rather than further engaging the treadmill in my hopeless fight against drumsticks, I am going to engage my children, house, goats, chickens, pasture, garden, yard, trees, etc. in my fight for respect and legitimacy.

Today was my first day implementing this new plan. I did dishes, swept and mopped the kitchen floor, took the Christmas tree out of its stand and gave it to the goats, made herbal wormer dosage balls for the goats and administered them (which required some awkward and indecent-looking straddling of a recalcitrant Hazel), hung some pictures, partially cleaned up the broken cake plate after the newly-hung old-timey map of Salt Lake fell and knocked it onto the floor where it shattered into a million billion pieces, took Grant to orchestra and yelled at him for the first five to seven minutes of our drive about how lazy and negative he is, apologized for yelling and calmly restated my point that he can complain or not complain but he IS going to keep taking violin for the rest of the year, bought and cooked a ham, and did not glower at John as he walked out of the door at dinnertime to go and be Oliver Hix in The Music Man. I did some other things too. For example, I also yelled at Emmett and told him he was spoiled and I hoped he starved.

Today was a mixed bag.

A lady in line in front of John at the chiropractor this morning mentioned to the receptionist that today is "National 'Do It' Day."

People are gross. That lady needs her mouth washed out with soap.

4 comments:

tipsybaker said...

Your day sounds like my day.
Are you really throwing in the towel on exercise?

Bamamoma said...

What kind of Valentine's Day is that? I think your hubby needs to give you a foot massage upon his return this eventide.

All8 said...

Exactly! I've gone back and forth on this one myself. I know that I need to get my body moving but if I spend that time on a machine or whatever, I'll never get anything done around the house.

On another note, perhaps the woman in line was using "Do It Day" in the wrong context...

Hope you got to enjoy your beautiful weather in your new routine.

Sarah said...

Wow. You worked off AT LEAST as many calories doing all that business than running on the treadmill. I'm so very super impressed.

Also, I keep meaning to tell you about this guy in our ward who is super duper tough and cool and spiritual and blah blah blah AND... he plays the violin. Like, the guy teaches snowboarding, and he plays the violin beautifully, and is one of the only guys who can beat my dad in racquetball. Anyway, tell Grant that playing the violin is what the cool kids do. That'll teach him.