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Friday, February 4, 2011

ninjas are a constant problem

I just renewed my ADGA membership. Some of the rights and privileges pertaining to me are reduced fees when I register kids, and nobody being able to steal my herd name. Did you know I have an official herd name? It's Baba Capra. It's a pretty cool name, but don't be jealous. I am always thinking of cool names for bands and goats, so I've had a lot of practice. Buck names are the most fun, and surprisingly, they overlap quite a bit with band names. Some of them that are on a sticky note in my kitchen right now are:
1. Clubber Lang
2. Sir Topham Hat
3. Rooster Cogburn
4. Maher-shalal-hash-baz
5. Manwich

Don't steal my ideas. I'm hoping someday to have the need and wherewithal to keep a buck, but it will be hard to choose just one name. Manwich can also be used for a horse, but only if it's a draft horse, like a Percheron or a Belgian. Thinking of names is my favorite part of animal ownership.

John was just telling me that when we went to a baby blessing recently there was a guy in Elders Quorum talking about dates, and he said that dinner and a movie don't count.

What, now?

John asked him to clarify, and the guy said that dinner and a movie doesn't require any thought, so it doesn't count. BULL. Movies are awesome and I love them and I wish I could go to one every week, as long as it was interesting. I think either that guy is an idiot or his wife is a big whiner whose love language is elaborate orchestration of events. I'm not bagging on advance planning and thought, but to never count dinner and a movie? LOSERS!

People say to me, "Layne, I want to eat better, but some of those people are super weird! How do you know how far to go to eat most responsibly without going off the deep end?"

Easy. You stop at the same place I did. Because any less than what I'm doing is not enough, and any more than I do makes you a creepy fanatic. I would think that was obvious! If you think Pop Tarts are food, you have some work to do. If you are raising rabbits in your basement, you are in danger of losing credibility.

It is acceptable to treat a sore throat with garlic, honey and cayenne pepper, but you shouldn't treat cancer with coffee enemas.

I hope this answers some questions.

I hope Armageddon hasn't started.

3 comments:

Kacy said...

This is a pretty useful metric. Thank you.

All8 said...

We named our bull calves, Dinner and Hamburger Helper. (Well, the kids named the other one Robbie, but they hadn't been sufficiently trained yet.)

You'd think that a coffee enema would be a real pepper upper...Didn't know that it would cure cancer too?!

Amy said...

Last night, Brian and I ate at an amazing gourmet Mexican restaurant in Salt Lake - Frida Bistro. I loved it. I think you would love it. And, there was a dish on the menu featuring free range chicken that made me laugh and laugh from thinking about your post on 1/25. I really wanted to ask the waiter how much space the chicken had in his free range.

Are you cleansing? How is it going? I completed four days and was surprisingly not hungry (although I missed food). On the third day, I felt like I had given myself the flu (so achy, but that's good right?) and, although I grand plans to slowly return to food via salads and raw fruits, I instead dove right back into chocolate and cheese and tortilla chips and the like. So, I think that made me lose a little benefit. Overall, I liked it and I think I need to do it again. I can't wait to hear how it went for you!