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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

wine and roses seem too wasteful

For some reason Hazel hates her worm medicine. Traci eats hers with relish and keeps licking my hands in search of more, but Hazel requires me to put her in a headlock and shove it right down her throat. It took me about five tries today, so now I'm all covered with hay and straw and hair and poop. Goats are good at keeping you humble.

Yesterday at Costco there was a lady next to me in the self-check line who had four young kids, and the youngest girl was sitting on the floor in the middle of the aisle just bawling and screaming her head off. The mom was very frazzled looking, and trying like mad to scan the groceries and get the heck out of Dodge, and her kids were being rotten, because that's their job. A man and woman with their young son sitting in the cart (the part the store tells you not to let kids sit in--I only mention this because of what they said) came up behind her, and the wife said, "Don't run over that little girl." The dad said, all grumpy and pious, "Where's the parent?" The two of them sat and glared at the mom, still scanning groceries, and she said to her oldest daughter, "Go get Molly (or whatever the baby's name was), please," and the judgy couple said, not even very quietly, "Oh, she's making the kids watch the kids. That makes sense." The big sister came and picked up the baby and put her in the cart next to the other baby, who looked like the girl baby's twin brother. He started slapping her and yanking out fistfuls of her hair, so she screamed even louder. The judgy husband said, "Oh, they don't like each other too much, do they?" I wonder if they felt bad for tsk-tsking when they realized how mean the brother was. I wonder if they would feel bad if they glanced away and their compliant son suddenly stood up in the part of the cart where he wasn't supposed to be and fell out and cracked his head open. I was able to peacefully observe this scene because I had sent my own children down the hall to get a drink, telling Grant to keep an eye on Willa, who climbed out of the part of the shopping cart where she's not supposed to be.

I think Willa might never poop again, and it makes me insane. All I can say is I better not have ANY drug or premarital sex problems from these children, after the hell they've put me through with their broken poopers.

6 comments:

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

Loved the post today. You really should be writing novels. You have this great way of painting a picture that puts the reader RIGHT THERE! I so wanted to smack that judgy couple. Oh well. Who am I to judge! LOL MY child actually did fall out of the cart on his head. It was the worst sound I ever heard. He happens to be my easiest one now. Hmm. Wonder if there's a connection.

Jill said...

grrrr...mean people bug me. Except for when you are mean because that always makes me laugh. :-)

All8 said...

I wish I could have told the mother not to worry too much, those parents will get their own. Ah, to rue that day. Not that I know by experience or anything. My kids are perfect....

richvm said...

Maybe it was an episode of "What Would You Do?" And did you do anything? Bet you wish you had now. You could have been on TV! I'm laughing about your kids poopers. Funny! Oh, and my kids are always in the cart where they shouldn't be. We took Daniel to the ER when he was a baby because he did fall out and almost cracked his head open!

Jenny said...

That was ME, Jenny. Not Ricardo.

Sarah said...

If only we could combine the powers of my children's over-poopers with your children's under-poopers. Just imagine the possibilities! One poop per day. JUST ONE! And not NONE poops for 2 weeks. Ahhh...we can dream...

Sad that the couple in Costco had to be all judgey out loud. I try to just keep it in my head.