Tuesday, March 29, 2011

turn and face the strange ch-ch-changes

Okay, my working theory is that Aggie is just a little skittish because she hasn't been around people too much. So we'll talk to her foster mom, who is an animal behaviorist, and see if she feels like we should be concerned, and what we should do. She might be better off with a no-kid family, but it may be something we can work through. What do I know? I mean, she hasn't even eaten anybody's face yet, and she's only peed in my house three times and pooped twice. Should I have started off with a puppy? Maybe.

Something that frustrates me is that my kids hate my homemade yogurt. It's probably because I'm a little stingy on the sweetener, and of course the texture is different. But I had a genius-level idea for how to get past that. It involves gelatin and lemon curd. Also a lot more sugar. I'll let you know how it goes. Because I really need to come up with a homemade version of Liberte yogurt, not just because theirs has monster in it, but because buying it at the rate I want to will bankrupt me.

I bought some sexy new stockings yesterday, which are maybe a little edgy for church, but that's about the only time I dress up, so it'll have to do, I guess. They are still tasteful--they don't have "MILF" stitched into the weave or anything, which gives me a great idea for a new business. Another business idea I have is this: since sex, food, and danger are the three driving impulses for the instinctive brain, we're going to make a line of indulgent foods with a buxom lass on the box, holding a gun. The brand will be "Eat This or I'll Shoot You." I know, I'm practically a millionaire already. Don't steal my idea.


richvm said...

Just curious- where do you get sexy stockings? I want me some.

richvm said...

Ha! This is Jenny, not Richvm. Although, he would look AWESOME in some sexy stockings. Okay, I'll just get him some! :)

Tori said...

Oh man, try and stop me from stealing the idea for MILF stockings. And I will expand the line to include "MILF in training" onesies, since that kiddie push-up bikini is working so well for Abercrombie & Fitch.