Wednesday, April 20, 2011

have you heard the word is love?

My mom is cleaning out the cowshed (so called because it's in the pasture, not because it had cows in it) and brought me over a big stack of my junk. There were a bunch of porcelain dolls that she just took to the DI for me, and some poor kook is going to show up there and feel like they hit the jackpot. One of them was a gift from a bizarre and creepy boyfriend I had when I was a junior in high school, and the whole thing is made of porcelain, even the body, with movable arms and legs. I think his mom made it.

Anyway, as I was saying, I have a pile of papers from when I was in elementary school, and a box of letters from one of the few guys I dated who was an actual decent human being. His penmanship was incredible. It looked like a font. When he would make a mistake he'd cut out a tiny piece of paper and glue it over the mistake, because he often wrote letters on yellow legal paper and didn't have any correction fluid that color. He was (and I assume still is) a terrific guy, but to put it bluntly, we would not have been equally yoked. He was funny and smart and all that, but I think there would have been problems due to my, ah, let's call it "artistic temperament and lackadaisical approach to cleanliness." Plus he liked running way more than I do. His dad used to eat ice cream floats of mint chocolate chip and Pepsi Free. Weird.

In the box of letters are some pictures of him, and I was going to throw them away with the letters, but do you think his mom might want them? My mom says toss them, but John says, "NO! Give them to his mom! Of course she wants them!" He is very sentimental. He's what keeps me from becoming a sociopath. Or is it psychopath? Hard to say.

In the stack of elementary school papers is a penmanship exercise from when I was in probably first grade, and it's the lyrics to "The Word" from Rubber Soul. See how hardcore a Beatles fan I am? I think I'll frame it. There is also my report card from kindergarten, and areas in which I got Satisfactory Minus are "accepts responsibility," "completes tasks accurately and promptly (Mrs. Niederhauser says "is easily distracted")," and "uses time effectively." I guess the leopard doesn't change its spots? But there were good things on it, too, like "well coordinated." Also I was good in music and art and "shows confidence," and I recognized basic colors and geometrical shapes.

My kids had a good time looking through my stuff, and exclaimed, "Mom, you were always smart!" Aren't they wonderful children?


All8 said...

Hm, you could give them to his mom, but that's kind of weird in and of itself. I can just see it now, "My mom found a bunch of my old school stuff out in the cow shed. Do you want the pictures of your son...?" Yeah, too weird for me, but I may or may not be a good judge of that kind of stuff. I was going to throw away my yearbooks and such but Ambrose is convinced that I may want to look back at those years some time. I don't know about that, so they're still on the shelves in the basement.

highdeekay said...

We could just add them to the boxes of nameless photographs in my basement. PAK kept everything PAKRat would be accurate and I have all kinds of unidentifiable things, what would a few more hurt? :) Or, I could give you mine and you could give the whole lot to your fastidious boyfriend's mother. Now THAT is an idea!

Get your kids on audio or video so that when they are know it all teens you can replay that they once thought you smart.