Tuesday, July 19, 2011

they knew all the right people, they took all the right pills

Here's what I see going on in the debt ceiling "discussion," we'll call it, rather than "group tantrum."

The Republicans are typically the people who want fewer entitlements and social programs, they say. But then President Obama threatens to not send out the Social Security checks and the Republicans are all HOW DARE HE PEOPLE COUNT ON THAT MONEY HE WANTS TO THROW GRANDMA DOWN THE STAIRS BY THE WAY CAN WE START ANOTHER WAR YET?

President Obama is caught in the unenviable position of having made a threat that he can't follow through on without losing credibility. It's like a few weeks ago when I said we couldn't leave for Cherry Hill until everybody had eaten their oatmeal, and of course Emmett chose to die on that sword. So then I said everybody could go swimming but Emmett, and I made him change out of his suit so I wouldn't be tempted to rescind my punishment, but then everybody told me what a horrible mom I was being, and John said that it seemed pretty harsh, so we told Emmett that like Jean Valjean he deserved to go to prison, but not for nineteen years, and I bought him a swimsuit at the water park. He needed a swimsuit anyway, and he did miss out on half of the day of swimming, but the chief result of the whole shebang was that I looked like a giant idiot, because I had made a ridiculous threat. Good luck with that, Mr. President.

People are sobbing about how other countries won't trust us if we default. Well, why should they? We are being big old deadbeats.

And I am confused, not being a comprehender of fiscal matters, but if we don't have enough money to pay our bills unless we raise the debt ceiling . . . doesn't that mean that we just use more borrowed money to pay the bills if we do raise the debt ceiling? Doesn't that put us further in debt?

Basically I see a lot of bravado and political theatre going on, and very little attention to the actual problem, which is that we buy stuff we can't afford. We can't afford wars and social programs and endless government expansion without raising taxes. So all these nincompoops need to sit down and hold hands for a while until they can say "I love you," and then they need to do some actual work, instead of standing around peeing on each other. They might want to work on differentiating between wants and needs, and then they can try making necessary but unpopular changes, even when it's an election year.

But that's just me, and Orrin Hatch has already told me in a patronizing form letter that I am not smart enough to make decisions about governance.


Amy said...

What? I am the first to comment on this hilarious tidbit? I am laughing outloud and also impressed at how how summed up the whole messy situation so eloquently. They should hire you to moderate these discussions.