Friday, July 29, 2011

you fool! this medicine is for a different illness from this one!

I think I might start being one of those people who dries fruit. I've dabbled with it in the past, but have never committed to buying my own dehydrator. I've got an old dehydrator that belonged to my mom, and my grandma before her, but now I've got all these apricots I bought from Sumida's yesterday, and they don't fit, plus it's the 97th anniversary sale at R & R Hardware . . . what choice do I have, really?

I put the kids to work washing and pitting the apricots while I went outside to clip goat hooves, so obviously when I came back in they had thrown a good thirty or so of them away, claiming they were rotten, where "rotten" actually means "ripe."

I try to defend truck people. Trucks are very useful, and we couldn't get by without our old beater (1982 Chevy, jealous much?). But it would be so much easier for me if there weren't so many truck people driving around in monster trucks with skinhead insignia and naked mudflap girls and wolves in crosshairs and badly drawn Calvins peeing on stuff. Bleck. When we were on our way back from the Manti pageant we saw a grody perv with a mudflap girl in his back window, and one of the girls in my car exclaimed, "What a durf!" with the soul-crushing derision that is the true medium of the teenage girl. I was so proud of her.

Would you like your kids to get more magnesium in their diet, but are not sure how to do it? Just keep an open bar of dark chocolate in your cupboard on top of a stack of plates, and your children will sneak it and feel like they're getting away with something. Ha! You are a smart mom. Or dad! I don't want to be sexist.


Matt and Emily said...

So, did you get a dehydrator? And I need to come over and buy some apricots to dry. I love them so.