Friday, August 26, 2011

how I came to have a blood feud with justin boots, part the second, OR product may not stay: justin L9909 boots, or any other justin boots ever again

So I bought those stupid Justin boots and started wearing them, and right away I was a little miffed. The color was a little too red for me (like a sorrel horse-boo!), and they looked kind of cheap, and after I wore them the first day they were kind of itchy in the back of the shaft. But soon it was summer, and I don't wear boots very much in the summer, cowboy or otherwise. Then last night I put them on to wear to the rodeo, because who wants their sandals to get all dusty and poopy while they're watching steers get their heads twisted clean off? And they were so itchy in the shaft that I took them off to see what was going on. Well, inside the back of the shaft, sewn in there in a misguided attempt to add strength, is a piece of plastic that has cracked and is flaking off in sharp little shards. Absolutely unacceptable. This is why I buy leather shoes! So to have a boot that SAID it had a leather upper pull a fast one on me with a cheap little hunk of plastic digging into the back of my leg? WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON? If I'm going to live in the first world, I'm at least going to have decent shoes.

So I called Justin this morning, and straight out of the gate I knew it was going to be bad. The girl who answered the phone was sullen, she had no apology about the boots giving out on me after a mere five months, she said they don't ever take boots back and that I had to go through the retailer, and that was it, even though I politely voiced my opinion that it was a craftsmanship issue and therefore not the retailer's problem. Whatevs. Would it have killed her to say, "Oh, we're so sorry. That shouldn't have happened. Give the retailer a call and let me know if you have any trouble." But instead she lost me as a customer forever and ever, and gained instead a foe who makes up for her lack of actual power and influence with rabid vociferousness and intensity.

I called Zappos in annoyance, and they took the horrible turd sandwich that Justin had just given me, and they threw it away and washed their hands, and they said, "We're so sorry about that turd sandwich those mean people gave you. Here, have this bowl of juicy, perfect, sun-ripened peaches instead, and while we're here, let's print out a return label for those nasty boots and give you expedited shipping FOREVERMORE." They are wonderful, those Zappos people, and I am buying some replacement/rebound boots from them tonight. And they're probably going to be twice as expensive and have a big old gaudy shaft, and they will not be Justins.

Justin boots. Product may not stay.