Wednesday, August 24, 2011

there's a lot about me you don't know

I didn't realize this, but apparently goats can unhinge their shoulders to get through tiny spaces. At least my goats can. I blame Lovely Rita, who has led them all into misbehavior, and now they all squeeze between the fence panels and the gate, a space that is only five inches wide at the most. I've always heard that a fence that won't hold water won't hold goats, and it seems to be true. Jerks.

Yesterday was the receiving of exhibits at the county fair. It was a sad year for us. Ike entered a pathetic little handful of cherry tomatoes of different sizes and stages of ripeness. I entered some wonky cinnamon gumdrops and the ugliest loaf of bread in the history of baking. Grant entered some beautiful oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that he made entirely by himself, except for some words of wisdom from me about "you need to soften the butter" and "are you sure that's all the flour?" He did a great job and alone among us deserves a blue ribbon. My mom entered a harvest basket that is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, full of squash and crimson long beans and onions and tomatoes--it's breathtaking. The kids were bouncing off the walls with excitement and we had to keep tracking them down to ensure that they weren't being abducted by the carnies, who from their appearances are all pervs and druggies. Ike went into the small animal exhibit and wants a pet rabbit now, because he has this idea that rabbits aren't stupid and boring. Wrong!

Yesterday was also back to school night at our elementary school, which felt a bit like being pummeled for two hours. It was hideously hot in the gym, and the line of parents stretched out forever, and I have no idea what I'm doing. Next year when I have to be the PTA president is going to be a real treat for everyone, I'm sure. Emmett and Ike have teachers who look like they're going to be great. I've applied for Emmett to be in the gifted and talented program so whenever I am around other parents I can sigh dramatically and declaim how difficult it is having a gifted child. I'm worried about Willa in preschool--I think she might be terrible. I hope Mrs. Jones survives. Grant is in my mom's class, which should be a thrilling adventure. Smart, hard-working kids always love my mom, so as long as Grant brings his A game he will have a great time.

I want to wallpaper our back hall with atlas pages and light it with an antler chandelier painted a crazy color. John thinks I'm nuts, but really I'm a genius.

The children are building a Lego chess set. They do this every few months or so, and they get all excited about it until they figure out that once they move the pieces they have no idea which are knights and which are rooks and pawns, etc.


All8 said...

Goats are a trial and anyone that tells you differently is either lying or trying to sell you something. Probably a goat.

Rabbits are also scared of everything, but that's as it should be. They're towards the bottom of food chain. There's a reason they need to rebreed quickly.

PTA is for overachievers. Fight the urge.

Going back to my cave now.