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Thursday, December 22, 2011

jacob seems like not a great father

I cleaned the oven yesterday, because I hew to retrograde, sexist gender roles. You know how I am. For a minute the door wouldn't close and I was panicking, because I need that door. I called a local appliance sales and service place, and they said, "We could send out our technician and he could maybe bend the hinges back into line." So I stopped talking to them.

But all is well, because it turns out I just accidentally engaged the hinge lock, and figured it out while I was on the phone with a guy from what sounded like possibly Massachusetts--he talked like Tom Silva a little bit. And now my oven is healed.

I am learning from Drive that I am a Type X person in some regards--the chief one being that I am situationally content. As opposed to Type I people, who tend to be content generally, regardless of circumstances. This worries me because Type X people are more stressed and die earlier and are less successful in the long run. But! I am also learning that you can make yourself into a Type I person. I will do this.

I wonder if it would be easier to say that I don't immunize Willa, rather than go to the doctor and get her immunization records. Yes. It would be easier. But then people would look at me the way I look at those crazies in Utah County who are giving us all pertussis outbreaks. If smallpox comes back, man, I will come UNGLUED.

It's amazing how similar pho breath is to Cool Ranch Doritos breath.

I have come to the conclusion that my pink grapefruit lotion from The Body Shop (which sounds like it would be all earthy and natural, but isn't) is going to have to be emergency lotion, because although I like the smell in the bottle and have no complaints with its moisturizing capabilities, it metamorphoses on my skin to become a B.O. fragrance of exceeding vigor.

3 comments:

tipsybaker said...

Should I read Drive? Is there a type of person who is never content no matter what?

This is one of your best lines: I wonder if it would be easier to say that I don't immunize Willa, rather than go to the doctor and get her immunization records.

Tori said...

We're having a huge measles outbreak up here. Thanks, hipsters!

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

Fun post. I think I'm a good mix of those personalities. But I like type I better. LOL