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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

dental rakes

We're going to the dentist today and I'm sure I have a cavity, which is terribly upsetting to me. It bothers me whenever I eat something sweet or cold, and I hear that's a bad sign. I don't think I've ever had a cavity before! I love my dentist, who is my uncle Doug. He is an actual dentist, not just some guy in our family with a drill, by the way. One of the things I looked forward to when we moved back here was having him as a dentist again, because I thought all dentists were good until I moved away. My kids love him too. I think his practice might be accepting new patients again, if you want to give him a buzz. Douglas R. Adams, DDS. It's not fancy with virtual-reality glasses or sleep dentistry or anything, but he will give you Trident and let you watch Spongebob while you're waiting for your turn. Plus your very own toothbrush and mini tube of toothpaste.

While we're there I'm going to ask Doug to put claws behind Willa's teeth to stop her from sucking her fingers. It's a real problem. I already asked my brother-in-law Daniel to cast her arms so she couldn't get her fingers in her mouth, but he's stonewalling. Do they want her to look like Prince Charles? See, the Prince Charles threat worked on Ike, but so far no dice on Willa. I should show her a picture to make it more real.

3 comments:

Lindsey said...

You are really funny and improved my slightly angered mood at my hooligans. I wish I had a brother-in-law/uncle put a cast on/insert a claw into my daughters mouth. I think it is bad parenting to threaten to bite off a digit, (which I've done in moments of annoyance) but inserting a claw sounds decent.

BTW: I'm a recommended blog stalker. You help my mom with goats.

Amy said...

Wow! A new toothbrush? He sounds very progressive. It's great to love your dentist. There is a new Indian restaurant in Riverdale. We want you and John to come eat there with us. What do you think?

Layne said...

Amy: Yes, please! And then we'll go to your house for dessert, which John and I will provide, and we can tour your cute new house.

Lindsey: I don't know, using a member of the British royal family as an insult might not be stellar parenting, either. Try showing your daughter a dental rake and letting her feel the spikes. That might be enough to kick it. It looks wicked.