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Monday, January 23, 2012

why I hate crystal light

Okay, here's that commercial:

I think it's rotten to the core, and I'll tell you why. You have two attractive women on a plane, fitted into stereotypes so old they have beards. The brunette is pragmatic, businesslike, and a little caustic, the blonde is doe-eyed, breathy, and vacuous (her delivery of "it's almost bikini season" is note-perfect; a little insecure tremble, a nervous smile, her eyes opened wide with fluttering lashes).

The blonde is drinking plastic to replace the sweetness of the plastic she normally drinks--she knows. She knows that women should always, always be ashamed of their bodies, and should drink low-calorie non-foods to keep the weight off so they can look good for a man. It's the same with her hair--she's not a true blonde, but is smart enough to color her hair because blondes are prettier than brunettes, duh. The viewer is made to feel sympathy for the doe-eyed blonde when the brunette viciously attacks her for her benighted optimism that she might someday wear a swimsuit. Then comes the reveal, in which the sarcastic, ball-busting brunette is smacked down for her refusal to toe the line of body hyper-consciousness/insecurity. See, they ARE on a beach.Who's the stupid one now? The interaction when the bare-chested water guy comes up, and the blonde says in a baby voice, "I can help you with that," and starts unbuttoning her shirt as she turns and nyah-nyahs to the brunette that "I'm gonna get wet" makes me want to vomit on and slap her for being such a disgusting sellout.

It's the innocent-schoolgirl fetish, the blonde fetish, the submissive-woman fetish, the continued commodification of women and the assertion that their value lies solely in their appearance, and probably a few other misogynistic tropes all rolled into one. So if Crystal Light was aiming to reinforce offensive, dinosaurian social constructs, WELL DONE.

What are your feelings?

3 comments:

tipsybaker said...

I hate it. Everything you say is correct.

Sarah said...

And this is what I love about you. See, I would have watched that commercial and thought, "Lame! Gross!" and moments later would have completely lost all memory of it while enjoying my bowl of ice cream (clearly, I'm brunette). But you. YOU have the ability to analyze the entire 32 seconds and reveal the deeper, darker, evil-er meaning and underlying "dinosaurian social constructs," that now I feel mega HATE for the entire company and what they obviously represent. Jerks.

Bamamoma said...

I think the commercial is being ironic and poking fun at all the ridiculous reality slop currently on television: from apprentice to biggest loser to the bachelor to survival.

That seems to be the current trend in tv advertising now: put up a story that really has nothing to do with your product but then put your product in it awkwardly (think silly product placement currently found all over network television).

It made me laugh (while I drank my generic version of Crystal Light).