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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

the lamb was sure to go

Here are some more political thoughts, because you love it so much when I do this.

I think the Republican party has been permitted to run untrammeled over Utah for far too long now, and I intend to vote the bums out wherever I am given the option. Opposition--true opposition, not this nonsense where they pretend to hate each other and then go behind closed doors and give each other tongue baths--is imperative for limiting government corruption.

Anyone who looks at either party and sees a substantive difference in the way they practice governance is, I fear, misguided. But I'm a pessimist!

I will vote for a bushy-backed sea slug before I ever vote for Orrin Hatch, and you can take that to the bank. He is a vain braggart, a usurper of liberty, and a skunk.

I hate Rick Santorum for many reasons, including this: anyone who has designs on the presidency needs to be smart enough to know his audience. I'm glad for him that he has such moral certainty; it must be very nice to be totally without flaws (except for his appearance, voice, and personality). But if he thinks it's his job to be the country's moral advisor, and that he can say the things he does to such a varied audience, then he is too stupid to be the president.

The most likable video I've ever seen of President Obama is the one where he shoots that kid's marshmallow gun. They should run it as a campaign ad, because it makes him look like a nice dad who gets excited about smart kids doing cool things. He looks so genuine! Who wouldn't want a president like that? Why is he not like that in real life? Why does he keep secretly monitoring the American citizenry, among other bad decisions? Is it because he is, as I suspect, nominally the president but actually powerless, because he's not really the guy calling the shots? That really it's the Pentaverate running the joint? You can insert "Illuminati" or "Star Chamber" for "Pentaverate" if you wish.

The Romney campaign needs to run more pictures of Mittens with tousled hair. I think he could be a decent president, but who can say? I think the major problem with him having friends who own Nascar teams is that he clearly associates with people who like stupid stuff. But who among us does not have a friend who likes stupid things; like thinking they need a custom paint color, or wearing their hair all bleached and poky even though they're forty-five, or dressing their animals, or crocheting decorative tree cozies, or reading science-fiction romance novels? I don't know that I'd vote for Mitt, but I'd vote for him over either of those other two idiots--but I guess it's just down to one idiot now, isn't it? Isn't Newt out of it for real, finally?

If there was ever a person about whom the Cass Elliot ham sandwich myth should be true, Newt Gingrich is that person. I would take pleasure in it.

I think that's all for now. Except this: yesterday I was at Bombay Bites for lunch (try it, you'll like it, take a tip from me), and there was a group of six people there on their lunch break, and one of them had taken it upon herself to be their Indian Food Spirit Guide for the day. Boy, did she need to shut up. They would ask the server questions, and while he was answering she'd start talking over him to answer the question herself. Also she kept asking the server those kind of questions that are meant to display your superior knowledge of the cuisine, like, "Oh, I haven't seen the Aloo done this way, have you blah blah blah? And what about Blah? I love it when it has this and that and blah." Just egregious showboating, and I wanted her to cram it with walnuts.

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