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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I wonder if mountain goats and domesticated goats could have viable offspring

Remember that thing where I was avoiding processed and/or refined foods where possible and not exceedingly annoying to my dining companions?  Well, I've eaten four Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the last day.  So that's going awesome for me.  I don't feel fat and sluggish at all.  I can't have them in the house, is the plain and precious truth of it.  They are my kryptonite.

If anybody was wondering, I still don't have a president-elect for PTA next year.  I think it's neat how everybody is so busy that they can't do a job that frankly isn't that bad.  The worst part of it is finding people to take over when you're gone, because everyone is like, "Oh, I'm just so busy."  Right.  I understand.  Because the people who ARE on PTA are shut-ins with no lives.  THEY don't have kids and jobs and church callings and houses and yards to take care of and infinite extracurricular activities to shuttle their kids to.  I know I wasn't being maman taxi the ENTIRE day today.  Jerks.  I hope they like it when I disband the PTA due to lack of support.  I hope they like it when none of the classes get to go on field trips anymore because the PTA isn't there to pay for it. 

If anybody could tell me how to make Blogger stop double-spacing my first paragraph and single-spacing every succeeding paragraph, that would be great.  I think pictures are part of the problem, somehow.  Wordpress peeps, should I switch?  Is Wordpress better than Blogger?  Would the switch be a nightmare?  Would I lose all my content?  I don't know what I'd do if I lost the paragraph where I compare the relative grossness of different animal poops or talk about how my grocery superiority. 

I'm going to tell you something foul about myself.  Get ready.

I haven't shaved my legs since oh, probably October.  I have loved every second of it.  I still shave my underarms, because I am not a monster.  John doesn't care (shut up, he is NOT just saying that because he's afraid of me), and since I was genetically blessed (from my maternal grandmother) with relatively sparse and downy leg hair, I have not even had any unsettling hair escaping through my nylons at church.  I'm sorry if you think I'm hideous, but I've so enjoyed casting off the shackles of depilation that I intend to do the same next year, and the year after that, and for all the years.

7 comments:

Sarah said...

Ah, Krispy Kreme. I just ate a bowl of ice cream the size of my head, so..."I'm there for you." Or, am I *here* for you? Or, probably "I'm there with you." Yeah, that's it.

Consider yourself blessed indeed that you can go months without shaving your legs. It's not foul, it's awesome. In the winter, I can go a pretty fair amount of time (thank heavens for boots with skirts!), but my leg hairs are like wire, man, so after a couple of weeks, I'd probably have hair poking through my jeans. Gross.

beckster said...

I don't think not shaving your legs is gross! I think you sound liberated from something that is not necessary. If it doesn't bother you or your husband, so be it! My husband howls when I apologize for my hairy legs. He says, "believe me, men don't care about how often you shave your legs!". I am old enough now that I only have to shave about every 10 days, and I have been thinking of trying to stop. (Sounds like an addiction, doesn't it?!) I think it would be ok if I could get past the wiry stage. Perhaps you have inspired me.

beckster said...

Oh, and I meant to say that I understand completely about the doughnuts. When I went to Weight Watchers 20 years ago, they called those foods "red light" foods, and I thought that was a great descriptor. Kryptonite is even better!
As for trying to pass along PTA responsibilities, now I know where your remark about people being lazy and entitled was incubated. I think you should call a meeting and say PTA is disbanded if someone else doesn't take over. People can be so despicable!

Claire said...

Whoa, you are lucky. If I didn't shave my legs, I would look like bigfoot.

Jenny said...

Awesome...about the legs. Mine usually suffer much over the winter months. I'm trying to nurse them back to health. Shaving and Jergens self tanner! I have a cousin-in-law who never shaves her legs and the hair is long and black and it's disgusting. I'm glad yours are not offensive! We need to come visit and see all the animals! BTW- we are getting 6 bummer lambs today!!

Layne said...

Jenny--are you going to raise them in your backyard?

All8 said...

You're legs are not alone. I don't shave either and no one can tell.

I like my doughnuts hot and fresh and there aren't any Krispy Kreme nearby. I guess I should consider myself blessed.

So can mountain goats and domesticated goats reproduce? Evidently.