Thursday, May 3, 2012

this house doesn't burn down slowly

I've got my angry eyes on, so be warned.  

In case anybody was wondering I hate my town again. 

Plus somebody said yesterday, when a group of women were talking about how horrible it would be to have a Hooters next to your house, "There is no difference between Hooters and Joe's Crab Shack.  They're both food.  Hooters just focuses on . . . anatomy."

Uh, I'm sorry, but I need to clear something up right here.  No.  They are not the same.  I will concede that Hooters and Joe's Crab Shack are similar in the quality of "food" they provide (and there's probably a big overlap in the clientele), and they both have a right to exist (since I'm generally a "freedom to" person, not a "freedom from" person) but no, I will not allow someone to claim that Hooters is anything but a disgusting example of the many ways in which men objectify women and women permit and encourage it.  I haven't been to Joe's Crab Shack for a long time, but unless they're putting their waitresses in porno flaps and headlight tanks and changing their name to "KNOCKERS! LIKE BOOBS, GET IT? HAW HAW," then they are still a step or two up on the ladder of shame.  If you really see no difference between the two, if you would honestly have no problem working at Hooters or having your daughter or sister or ANY WOMAN YOU CARED ABOUT work there, being nothing more than a couple of boobs bringing greasy plastic to sweaty, slobbering, braying dullards?  You're doing it wrong.  Let's not pretend that "Hooters waitress" is a job aspiration for anyone but the severely emotionally and/or cognitively damaged.  Having a problem with Hooters does not make you a prude, it makes you a person with higher brain function.  And having no problem with Hooters does not, in fact, make you an open-minded free thinker.  It makes you trash. If life circumstances are such that you find yourself working at a Hooters or similar, then I condole you.  I hope you save your tips to go to school and get a job where you're not selling out your entire gender.

See, this is why people hate feminists.  Can't they ever just relax and enjoy the wings?  

Anyway, the reason I hate my town is because the zoning which they insisted on changing to industrial (by houses, across the street from the park, you remember) is causing me grief again, because the town has been approached by a chicken processing plant!  Terrific.  I have to move.  It's another situation like the biodiesel plant, some dummy with no money and no plans, so it's probably going nowhere, but even so.  I can't do this every year.  I can't feel like this about my fellow ward and community members.  It's not good for them or me, because if I do get those smiting powers I've been asking Santa for?  BOOM. 

Feel free to defend the Hooters family of "restaurants" in the comments.


tipsybaker said...

You are correct about everything, as usual.

All8 said...

There is a Hooters in a neighboring town and back when Harry Potter was big, they had "Family Night" Bring the Kids to celebrate. Ack! Hm, that may not be strong enough--Dear God, save us from ourselves and the ineptitude that we seem to have embraced to "celebrate" family night, at Hooters. Vile.

On the other hand though, I don't think it's all the fault of men though. Why do we as women tolerate someone else dictating to us how we should look, act and expect men to act. I think this kind of thing belittles not only the women but the men and the community they "serve". But hey, at least they closed down the Asian Massage Parlor across the street. Priorities.

beckster said...

No disagreements here. I have a schtick that I do about opening my dream restaurant aross the street from Hooters called Peckers. It would have male waiters like the Chippendale dancers and the motif would be dominated by roosters. The sign out front would be a neon rooster going up and down, pecking. The women always think this is hilarious, but the men squirm and try to change the subject. None of them seem to want to work at Peckers. I agree with All8 that women seem complicit in this type of behavior. It is tragic for our gender. Men don't seem to suffer from this. The Chippendale dancers seem proud to rake in the money and don't seem to find it demeaning. Am I missing something? I'll have to think about that.
When I was telling my husband about your post, he said I called the other restaurant Joe's Crab Shaft, but I think he just had a Freudian slip in his head. Nevertheless, how fitting! Maybe better than the Peckers idea.
Zoning, ugh! I don't think they should be able to change zoning laws when residents have already been established, but the powerful don't seem to care what I think.

All8 said...

Beckster, you made my day with your comment. I can only imagine the clientele at Peckers, the Chippendale dining experience. Maybe you could partner with Hooters and have a his and hers restaurant. (Seriously, ROFLing. That is just too funny!)

Now to go read the article about Raw Milk, after listening to a professor lecture, just last week about how bad it is and the stupid parents that feed it to their kids.

beckster said...

See, two brains are better than one, All8! (Please notice that I refrained from using the typical idiom in the first sentence.) I think partnering of the restaurants is an great idea! Then we could zone that area appropriately, maybe the "dead head" zone. Hopefully they would not build across from Layne's house. OK, I'll shut up now.

Claire said...

for a second there i thought you wrote "that I've been asking satan for."