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Thursday, September 20, 2012

and frank. the coffee. it stinks. it tastes like arsenic.

Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, the apocalypse is nigh, for there has come into the world a child whose parents have given it the name Hunzlen.  HUNZLEN.  I ask you.  I am extremely opinionated about names, and have categories for them, some of which are: That's Not a Name, That's a Noise; Stripper Names; Emasculators; and Freaking Mormons.  In a Venn diagram, Hunzlen would go on the overlap of the That's Not a Name, That's a Noise and Freaking Mormons circles. 

Here is a funny story about how much the Berenstain Bears suck.  I like the ones from back when they had beady eyes and the illustrations were old-timey, but I am on board with this guy about all the other books in the series.  Plus I love, like, really love, when somebody becomes passionately angry about something so mundane as a children's picture book.  I think, "Hey!  He's like me!"  And then, when they defend their position so cleverly, e.g. "Their faces bear no indication of thought or emotional presence," it is one of my favorite things. 

2 comments:

Marsha said...

Must agree with the name issue. Stripper names (Destiny Love), weirdly hard-to-spell names (Braeilynne), "look who we named the baby after" names (Britney), regular names spelled weirdly to make them unique (Mayree), weird names pronounced against all reason (Sade - Sha-day?) all of these things have always irritated me and continue to irritate me. So I went and named my own kid Siobhan. Hard to spell, impossible to pronounce unless you already know how. Some things just cannot be adequately explained, even to oneself.

Layne said...

I actually made a Venn diagram with a bunch of names and where they landed, and I had written Destiny in the Stripper Names circle. I didn't dare upload the Venn because I was afraid I would offend everyone I know.