Thursday, September 20, 2012

and frank. the coffee. it stinks. it tastes like arsenic.

Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, the apocalypse is nigh, for there has come into the world a child whose parents have given it the name Hunzlen.  HUNZLEN.  I ask you.  I am extremely opinionated about names, and have categories for them, some of which are: That's Not a Name, That's a Noise; Stripper Names; Emasculators; and Freaking Mormons.  In a Venn diagram, Hunzlen would go on the overlap of the That's Not a Name, That's a Noise and Freaking Mormons circles. 

Here is a funny story about how much the Berenstain Bears suck.  I like the ones from back when they had beady eyes and the illustrations were old-timey, but I am on board with this guy about all the other books in the series.  Plus I love, like, really love, when somebody becomes passionately angry about something so mundane as a children's picture book.  I think, "Hey!  He's like me!"  And then, when they defend their position so cleverly, e.g. "Their faces bear no indication of thought or emotional presence," it is one of my favorite things. 


Marsha said...

Must agree with the name issue. Stripper names (Destiny Love), weirdly hard-to-spell names (Braeilynne), "look who we named the baby after" names (Britney), regular names spelled weirdly to make them unique (Mayree), weird names pronounced against all reason (Sade - Sha-day?) all of these things have always irritated me and continue to irritate me. So I went and named my own kid Siobhan. Hard to spell, impossible to pronounce unless you already know how. Some things just cannot be adequately explained, even to oneself.

Layne said...

I actually made a Venn diagram with a bunch of names and where they landed, and I had written Destiny in the Stripper Names circle. I didn't dare upload the Venn because I was afraid I would offend everyone I know.