Tuesday, October 16, 2012

you only give me your funny papers

I intend to make some apple cider vinegar one of these days.  I've been collecting apple cores and uneaten slices for a week.  They'll probably be hard cider all on their own if I don't get cracking, so I guess I'll sacrifice some whole apples to the cause.  Why am I making cider vinegar?  I don't know.  It's not necessary, and it will probably be disgusting.  I do a bunch of stupid stuff.

For example:  I need to make some soap.  "Need" meaning there's this expectation that we have soap in the house, I have become accustomed to a certain level of quality, and to buy that quality is rather expensive, so homemade it is.  How lame is a person who is a soap connoisseur?  That's as bad as having a favorite bath mat.  But the fancy stuff smells so good!  I have a bar of peony and poppy scented soap that is running out and I'm so sad about it.  Do any of you know someone who refuses to use soap?  I do.  Supposedly it washes away your important body oils and keeps you from absorbing Vitamin D, and there are probably other weird reasons that people use.  As a culture we are probably too obsessed with sanitation, but I'm a fan of soap.  I guess I'll keep using it.  I had a coworker who was worried that deodorant causes breast cancer, and I thought she was so insane.  Eh, she's probably right.  But until Tom's of Maine figures out a formula that actually keeps me smelling fresh and clean instead of like a gas station men's bathroom, I'm going to take my chances with the mainstream stuff.  You do realize that we're all going to have cancer eventually, right?  I can almost guarantee it.

We're going to a corn maze tonight for mutual (weekly church activity with the youth 12-18).  I can barely do mazes from above, so I don't have any idea how people do them from inside.  John and I did one when we went to Leeds Castle, and I basically just followed him around.  The maze for the Tri-Wizard Cup?  The Labyrinth (David Bowie version or Original Recipe)?  I cannot even imagine. 

John watched "The Help" last weekend, and this morning he said, "You're probably never going to watch that movie, are you?"  Sadly, no.  I'll probably read the book eventually.  People seemed to like it.  But my movie tastes lean toward the anxiety-inducing, action-packed, nonsensical, or comedic.  I am not artistic.  I like a good romp or a good scare. No thinking!  Books are for thinking.  Movies are for escaping and eating popcorn doused in delicious liquid carcinogens (that's where my cancer is going to come from, if you're wondering). 

I just read that the moderator for tonight's debate plans to ask follow-up questions if necessary, rules be damned.  Zounds!  What next, answering the question that was asked, instead of the question you want to answer?

If I read one more breathless article about a CEO or similar who gave up their high-powered, fast-paced life in the fashion/technology/political world and bought a farm in upstate New York/Massachusetts/Sonoma Valley where they raise alpacas/heritage pigs/heirloom tomatoes I am going to barf.  There is no virtue inherent in swanning in on clouds of money and buying some estate, most likely from the family who went bankrupt trying to farm without the clouds of money.  Shut up, all of you.  Stop turning our farmland into Park Slope.  Hipster farmers are just the worst.  That is not farming.  What I do is not farming.  It is a hobby. 


All8 said...

My FIL wants to make vinegar for the coming demise of society. I think you two might like each other, a lot. That or hate each others guts. It's an either or kinda thing.

The CEO fairy story problem is the same as articles about "Saving Money" by buying your morning coffee at Dunkin' Donuts instead of Starbucks, only eating out occasionally and staying at a Days Inn. Whatev. I'm with you, they can talk to me when it's for real otherwise can it.