Wednesday, December 5, 2012

never thirsty, ever drinking

John's boss told him the other day that it's not Christmas in their family without the Jim Carrey version of the Grinch.  Shall I tell you what that did to my estimation of their family, or do you already know?  Imagine how you would feel if you saw an ambulatory creature composed entirely of Cool Ranch Doritos and Hawaiian Punch vomit and pinkeye discharge--that's what I think about that movie, and about people who "can't have Christmas without it." 

I have half of my forced labor cookies scooped and sugared.  Because I'm making sandwich cookies, that means I have to make twice as many cookies, stupid of me, but I'll tell you that the teeny-tiny cookie scoop I bought for this purpose is the cutest thing ever.  I don't like great big honking sandwich cookies, because the filling just squishes all over the place.  Two bites max, or it's indecent.  I'm kind of sick of "indulgent!"-sized cookies in general.  We don't need cookies the size of pizzas.

Here are movies I am excited/nervous about:
1.  Les Miserables--they had better not mess this up.  The music had better be beyond reproach, and the cast better not have any cutesy ideas about revolutionary interpretations of the characters.  Nobody wants to hear a Beatles cover; it just reminds them that you're not the Beatles.  Oh, I just remembered how much I despise Marius's piety and Cosette's inconstancy.  A pox upon them! 
2.  The Hobbit--to have this separated into three movies is beyond indulgent.  It is gluttonous and bloated, and I am incensed about it.  It probably just means we have oodles of time to spend on the non-essential, uninteresting character of Beorn.  What is the word for when you introduce a character, acting like it's going to be a huge deal later in the book or in other books, and then you never get back to it?  That's what Beorn is.  But!  It is still a great story and I love Martin Freeman because he is as cute as a bug's ear.  I maintain that the cartoon Gollum is way scarier than Andy Serkis's Gollum.

He gives me the jibblies.

We got our tree set up and decorated--I let the kids do all the ornaments because I am very nice and definitely not because decorating the tree is a nuisance. 


tipsybaker said...

Zero Dark Thirty. When I saw the preview I got chills and thought, if I have to die this year, let it just be after I get to see this movie.
This is a very funny post. Thank you.