Monday, May 13, 2013

yes I know I'm a lucky guy

The thing on my computer that allows it to talk to the internet without being hooked up to a cable--the wireless thingamabob--is only operating in fits and starts and I reach a point of murderous rage about it at least seven times a day.  This is where my friends and family members with Macs are all smug, and I'm rolling my eyes about how self-congratulatory is the Cult of Apple.  I like Apple products, I love my phone, but it is impossible for me to go into the Apple store without feeling like I need to either throw up or run around with an enormous tack bursting all the bloated egos in the room.  Computers are non-sentient, and therefore are not imbued with virtue, so everybody needs to settle down.

The vendor the PTA bought our school t-shirts from called today wanting to collect the money for the shirts, only I already paid for them when I picked them up last fall, so I guess they'll have to find five hundred dollars somewhere else.  The guy we got the bounce houses from for the carnival only charged us half of what we agreed on because of the big hole, which was very decent of him.  I'm almost done being president!  We have our field day activity and a bazillion thank-you notes to write for the carnival, and then I'm home free!

We got some new chickens.  Their names are Cabbage, Nitrogen Rich, SpeedZone (like the herbicide), Giraffe-O, Penguin, Cookie Gugelman, and Brad.  They like to knock their food over and poop in their water, just like all the other chickens I've ever had.  This time, though, I'm not going to keep them in my house for six weeks, no sir.  As soon as I can get a pen put together outside that they can't escape from they are out of here.  This time I'm in charge.

I went a little bit crazy at the nursery today and bought so many tomato plants.  But how do you not buy at least one of every color?  Except white--I've been burned too many times by white.  I can hardly wait to taste them all!  I think the one I'm most excited for is the Kellogg's Breakfast.

Hazel and Sally are getting all jolly, which is a euphemism for fat, which is a reduction of pregnant. I reckon they'll start nesting any day now.

Mother's Day is not a big deal to me, and hasn't really ever been except for the first one I had with John after our marriage, and for some reason I was expecting him to get me something, even though we didn't even have any kids, and I was all wounded when I didn't get a present, but because I am candid to a fault I did not give him the silent treatment or say that if he didn't know why I was sad I wasn't going to tell him, but rather told him why I was upset, and nowadays I am my authentic self who doesn't really pay attention to calendars but wants presents all the time.  Much easier.  All of which is to say that I was pretty grumpy when I woke up this morning and found the kitchen and the rest of the house in the same mess I left them in, because the Mother's Day fairies had not come in the night and spic-and-spanned my house.  And today wasn't even Mother's Day!  You can't let Mother's Day get you down.  So now John is very helpfully cleaning the whole kitchen while I fritter away my noontime suppertime choretime too on the internet, and I do not feel bad about it.  Really it should be the children doing this, but it's okay.  John will do a better job anyway.


Unknown said...

Misery loves company so I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one ready to set fire to the internet company. Somebody FIX it. NOW!