Monday, July 8, 2013

it's a do or die situation

The Pat Benatar concert was entertaining.  Her speaking voice sounds almost painful, it's so raspy.  But I guess if you spend that many years belting it's going to affect you.  She still sounds great when she sings, though, and I suppose I will forgive her for not singing "Shadows of the Night."  Pat Benatar is an interesting person.  I did my toenails in a houndstooth pattern, courtesy of Sally Hansen Salon Effects Real Nail Polish Strips, which you can see on my Twitter feed, and my left thumbnail black with a turquoise lightning bolt.  I'm super hardcore that way.

My bees have run out of frames, and Brian and Wendy lent me a bunch of theirs, so I put them in the freezer to kill off any lingering malcontents.  Last night I decided I'd better put them in before the bees get all rowdy from not having anything to do, and I thought, "It's nighttime, so I probably don't need to put on my gear."  This was the first in a short series of bad decisions with disproportionately uncomfortable results.  The chain of events: 

1. grab frames, go out to hive while wearing skirt and t-shirt
2. open hive, see many very awake-looking bees climbing all over the place
3. bees become agitated
4. decide that maybe the bee jacket and gloves are merited, but surely I don't have to change into jeans
5. go back out to hive in leggings and bee jacket and gloves
6. start inserting the frames
7.  bees become very agitated
8.  bees attack and begin stinging me through my leggings
9.  run away from determined, aggressive bees
10.  change into jeans and boots
11.  go back out to hive and insert new frames, while bees crawl all over my pants stinging me like crazy, leaving their stingers in the pants INCLUDING IN THE SWIMSUIT AREA
12. mash the frames together as well as possible and hurriedly replace hive lid
13. go on a walk with John until the bees eventually give up and stop trying to sting us
14.  put lavender oil on my many stings 

Today I was driving home from Ogden and saw a semi truck with some expensive-looking script lettering on the back of the cab reading, "Follow Me, Bitch's."  What do we do with this?  Hard to say.  On the one hand, he is an ignorant misogynist.  On the other hand, he is also a trucker, so 1. not surprising, and 2. he seems to already have been punished.  On the other other hand, it is rude/misinformed of me to assume that truckers are generally stupid and sexist.  On the other other other hand, is it really?  Rude/misinformed of me, I mean? 


Eric said...


Thanks, you made my day!

jillsifer said...

Suffering, rude, misogynist or whatever, he's marginally literate; that should be somewhat comforting.

The plural is "es," not apostrophe s.

Layne said...

Yes, that was my point--that maybe his job is punishment enough for his grammatical ineptitude. He's a dumb dummy, and we'll be okay.

Eric--bringing happiness into the world, even in the form of schadenfreude, makes the bee stings seem less painful.