Friday, October 25, 2013

you've been keeping love from me just like you were a miser

What are your feelings on tarts?  I don't care for them.  Last night I was reading my Cook's Illustrated, which I really should cancel, since I have become such a slapdash cook that I rarely remember to make a new interesting recipe, and there was a recipe for a chocolate tart in there, and I had the same reaction I always have to tarts:  Bored Now.  Why is that?  Let us dissect my aversion.

1.  The crust.  I am prejudiced against cookie crusts.  There are some tarts/pies in which a cookie crust is imperative, but they are by far the exception.  When I think about a tart crust, here are the adjectives that come to my mind:  Gritty.  Sandy.  Dry.  Too Sugary.  Too thick.  Gummy in the center.  These are not descriptors that invite intimacy.

2.  Delving deeper into my issues with the thickness of said cookie crust:  I have bought a few fruit tarts at pastry shops here and there, and they always, ALWAYS disappoint.  The crust always throws the ratio off and it makes me mad every single time.  This also happens with mini pies.  If you're going to make a small version of something, then for the love of all that is holy, reduce your crust's thickness to match!  This should be common practice!  Why are we even talking about this?

3.   Their ubiquity.  Why are tarts everywhere, everywhere, with their stupid fluted edges and their dumb little arranged fruit on top?

This is a nonsensical aversion; you're not telling me anything I don't already know.  I love shortbread, I love tender, cleanly-slicing filling, I love fruit pizza, I love lemon bars, which are basically just a rectangular tart.  I love food that has thought behind it.  I love fluted edges!  I guess I'm just a mystery.


tipsybaker said...

I know what you mean about tarts. I think some people think they're healthier, classier, and less blowsy (sp?) than a pie. For instance, my father would always choose lemon tart over lemon pie. He is also someone who has ordered berries for dessert at a restaurant. And sorbet.
I am 100% in the pie camp.

g. lo said...

I have never had a fruit tart that I wasn't disappointed in. They lure you in with their vivid, glistening colors, and then you are sad you didn't have the plain Jane brownie instead. I have to get brave enough to put a lid on my pies one of these days.

Layne said...

Oh, the top crust is a huge part of why pies are superior, I think. DO IT. You will be happy.