Wednesday, April 30, 2014

I want the same rush, over and over and over and over and over

John has been working from home for a couple of days because he blew out his knee playing a game we call "Flamingo" at family home evening and now he can't walk.  Mock him if you must, but his story is your story, and my story, and the story of every sedentary American.  So he's been having his meetings over the phone while he tries to get his knee functioning again, and he has his work voice on, which for people who only know him casually would be a shock.  John comes across as a pretty chill guy, and he usually is laid-back, but it's all a front.  He's actually quite intense and forceful, he just spends his ammo judiciously.  He is not a man who puts up with nonsense.  He's not mean or anything, just very direct. 

Last week I was at planning and zoning, and we were talking about how the rogue midwife needs to have a business license whether she sees patients in her home or not, and I said, "For example, we have to have a business license for John's business, and all it means is that he sits on our bed and does taxes," and one of the other board members laughed nervously and cried out, "TMI!  I didn't need to know that," and I was like . . . what do you think "doing taxes" means?  Is this some weird euphemism for a daring sex act I don't know about?  Of course I, being the sort of person who doesn't actually want to make people feel uncomfortable at a planning and zoning meeting, did not vocalize my internal dialogue.  Inappropriate! I don't know how what I said could have made her uncomfortable, but what she said definitely made me uncomfortable. 

Did I tell you about how I'm going to grow my tomatoes in straw bales this year?  The bales are all ready for planting, and I'm just waiting for the weather to warm up enough to not freeze my plants.  I think I'll put some strawberries in the sides while I'm at it.  I can only fit three plants, maybe four, so I will have to choose carefully.  I guess if I just can't make up my mind I can put some in the big garden.  I want a Mr. Stripey and a Sunsugar for sure, and then I'll need a nice blackish purple one, probably Cherokee Purple, unless I can find a Black Krim.  Then a Brandywine, and that's it for the bales.  I haven't yet found a green tomato that I think lives up to the hype--Green Zebra tastes all right, but they're so tiny!  Too much cutting to make a sandwich. 


beckster said...

Sorry to hear about John's knee! Hope it gets better soon. That was a weird comment from your board member. Sounds like a personal problem, a serious personal problem. I will be looking forward to your tomato reports. This new method sounds intriguing. So you just leave the bales above ground?

Layne said...

Yes, you just put them on a piece of landscape cloth and drag them to the compost pile at the end of the season. I will post pictures when I plant.

Anonymous said...

we were talking about how the rogue midwife needs to have a business license whether she sees patients in her home or not

Why? Do the people who license her actually know anything about midwifing? Do they charge for the license, or require any training she doesn't already have? Very frequently, municipal licensing requirements are a means of a) increasing revenue or b) protecting a monopoly. They only rarely have anything to do with actual consumer protection and qualifications. I'm just wondering what the motivation is in your municipality; my experience is that they should be presumed guilty until proven innocent. ;)

Layne said...

It's just the law--to practice business you have to have a license. Pros and cons can be pointed out, but that's the way things are.

(Pretend that I typed a smiley face here to show that I am not upset by your query.)

Anonymous said...

:) Are you really not upset by the query? Is that why I'm pretending?

Seriously, though, laws are made by people and sometimes the motives aren't the purest; or motives are fine but unintended consequences result. Personally, I think one really good test for laws would be to see if terrible things happen without them; if not, they should be removed from the books and resources - time, energy, and noses - used for something else.

At work we grew a bunch of tomato plants last summer in straw bales in the back parking lot - the "executive lot," thank goodness, which is hardly ever full. Not only did a couple of Minneapolis homeless shelters get some really nice fresh tomatoes, but the competition for who got the mulchified straw bales was fierce. ;)

Layne said...

No, I'm really not upset. I think you and I probably have similar opinions regarding what sometimes seems like legislation for its own sake.

I'm glad to hear about your straw bales! So far mine seem to be doing really well, and just to have them so close to the house is going to be a huge improvement.