CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Friday, May 23, 2014

running down the gutter with a piece of bread and butter

I started growing my hair out because I was sick of my A-line bob, and then I thought why not grow it out and donate it to Locks of Love, and now it's just past my shoulders and the road to donation stretches interminably before me, winding into the distance.  My hair is in a really ugly, awkward stage, that as I extrapolate its future appearance using current data sets (what it looks like now, with a few more inches imagined on) becomes more unflattering by the day.  I can take some frumpishness for the little children, but how do I mitigate it?

I noticed today that I accidentally keep dressing like Paula Deen.  Not sure what to do about this, because summer dressing is hard.  How do you stay cool and stylish at the same time?  Because, in case you didn't catch the subtext, dressing like Paula Deen is not a personal style I want to adopt.  There is a certain kind of woman of which Paula Deen is a prime example.  Big hair, fake nails, heavy makeup, orange-ish tan, flashy jewelry, tunics in loud colors like turquoise and coral with white capri leggings.  Apple-shaped, brash and bawdy, these women are a colorful, exciting ingredient in the great stew of humanity, but it is not in my nature to be one myself.  I would concede that I am brash and bawdy in my own way, but not in this particular way, this way that makes me think of Arizona and Florida.

11 comments:

hollywoodveg said...

Consider Pantene's Beautiful Lengths program. Locks of Love has some issues (missing money - almost $6million; selling donated hair; charging children for wigs). Pantene's program gives wigs to women battling cancer and - they only require eight inches.

Layne said...

!
Thanks for telling me this, I will look them up!

tipsybaker said...

My least favorite hairstyle -- ON ME -- is a bob. Because I think it makes me look like Ina Garten.
I love your description of Paula Deen. Perfection.

beckster said...

I have done any with the awkward stage of hair growth by keeping my hair really short, I mean pixie short. Of course, I am a lot older than you, and I don't have much hair to begin with. I did have a bob until I cut it all off. How about headbands? I like them, but some don't. I think you would look good in one. The description of Paula Deen was scary, but accurate. Since I live in the South, PD lookalikes are everywhere. Do you have them in Utah as well? Oh, by the way, do some Morman women actually look like they did on Big Love? Hope I didn't hit a nerve. Just curious. It's not a good look for anyone. Imagine the most beautiful woman you know dressed like that and her hair fixed in that style. Yikes.

Layne said...

We do have PD lookalikes. I haven't ever watched Big Love, but from promo pics they look pretty familiar--and not very much like the actual polygamists I used to see at the Lehi pool, who wore real, no-foolin' dresses to swim in and did their hair in the Gibson Girl style. From what I have observed, Mormon women tend in large part to wear similar styles as the rest of their age cohort, adjusted when necessary to cover undergarments if the style is short or sleeveless or what have you--but keep in mind that most people around here are Mormons, so that may skew my data.

beckster said...

Thanks for not getting in a twist over the question. Yep, Big Love had them all in shapeless, dropped waist, baggy dresses with Gibson Girl hair. I never for a moment thought that all Morman women looked like that. One of my best friends growing up was Morman, and she dressed just like I did, and that was in the 60's, those hippy days.

ten said...

your post title....... did you get that from a kinda new tv show? it is a great show.

Layne said...

Ten---Bob's Burgers? Delightful program.

Beckster--but remember, FLDS and LDS are very different cats.

beckster said...

Layne, oh, I am ignorant, but I did know that you were not a follower of Warren Jeffs!

Layne said...

*shudder*

ten said...

just when I think you are pretty cool already. ALRIIIIGHT! *Linda voice