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Wednesday, February 25, 2015

no one could make that ram scram, he kept buttin' that dam

My sisters (except the youngest, who is still in Guatemala) and mom and I got pedicures the other day, and the only place that could take all of us was the nail place inside the local Walmart, which I felt conflicted about, but I guess the nail place is independently owned?  Or something like that, and I didn't want to be the douchebag who wouldn't go get her toes done with her family because of her impotent boycott, so I went and was glad I did, because even though it was a total dive they had massage chairs.  The only real drawback, other than indirectly benefiting Walmart's bottom line, was that when I told the lady I wanted a lightning design on my big toenails she made some sort of grassy thing, which is not lightning.  It's pretty in a motorhome-upholstery sort of way, but not what I wanted.  But I certainly wasn't going to complain, because why do I need to throw poop into that lady's day?  I don't.

Crap, I just looked at the clock and realized that I only have a couple more hours before the kids get home, and I haven't showered or anything.  It's so hard to get up the gumption to take a shower when you're already halfway through the day.  Speaking of gumption, I have none, so on Mondays and Wednesdays I just start out the day in exercise clothes, like I just get right into them after my shower, because I have learned to my sorrow that a big barrier in my pursuit of physical fitness is my dislike of basically having to reboot the day--you've already gotten ready once, but then you have to change your clothes, get all sweaty, then go home and shower and get dressed and do your hair all over again, including washing your hair because now it's all sweaty!  Barf!  I try on easily about eleven outfits every Sunday before church in my attempt to strike the proper balance between dressy and comfortable, but during the week I do not want to be putting on and taking off clothes and redoing my hair.  So I just wear exercise clothes all day on Monday and Wednesday, do my sad little physical activity at night, then sleep in my sweat like a grody troll, and shower and wash my hair the next morning.  You may borrow this approach for your own life if you wish.

4 comments:

Tori said...

I only shower on the days I work out. Does that count as taking it a step further than you or the opposite?

Layne said...

Hmm. Do you work out every day? If so, then it's a step further than me because you are more virtuous.

tipsybaker said...

I think about this issue a lot. I'm about to go work out, blecch, but afterwards I won't want to "waste" a shower and hair wash on a boring night at home, especially when I'll be playing tennis tomorrow morning. So I'll "save" my shower for tomorrow. Sweat isn't really dirty, is it? It's occurring to me right now that the big problem is I don't want to get my hair wet because it takes forever to dry. Perhaps I should just buy a shower cap.

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

I would say you already borrowed it from me. I am the queen of the troll empire. I dare you to fight me for it.