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Monday, August 15, 2016

he grew up to be a jerk, just like me

Well, there's nothing to put a shine to your day quite like having an argument with one of your kids in which both parties take turns accusing each other of being too intense about something that really doesn't matter so why are you making such a big deal about it.  The golden years of parenting are now officially coming to an end and I hate it.  I've said that my kids just keep getting better and better, but now we've begun the slide that all parents of teenagers experience eventually, and which never really ends.  I'll never get Grant back.  He'll continue to pull away and be a bigger and bigger brat until he graduates, then he'll go on a mission and it will be almost like he died for two years, then he'll come home and be all preachy for a while, then he'll settle down and we'll have a brief glorious moment in the sun of being a close-knit family again, and then he'll get married and start having kids and so on, and that's the end of it all--it'll never be the same.  Even though all of these things are things I expect and want for him (minus the brattiness and the preachiness), and even though what's up ahead will bring its own kind of joy, I can't help but mourn the death of the part of my life that nobody warned me about.  Everybody said to enjoy the time when my kids were little, which was stupid, because there is nothing I miss about that part of my life.  But this part?  The part where everybody is grown up enough to be fun and interesting and we all love to be together all the time?  This is the best, and it sucks that we only get a couple years of it.  

Calculating conservatively, I figure I've got at least 15 more years of this, because by the time one child returns to normalcy you've already lost the next child.  Looking forward to it, it's going to be super great.  

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